NihshabdBlog

Category: Nihshabd journal

  • ✨Beautiful Mess✨

    ✨Beautiful Mess✨

    You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

    “I didn’t ask for a dramatic life

    but apparently, I was cast as the main character anyway.”

    .

    No audition.

    No rehearsal.

    Just life handing me a script

    with seventeen plot twists

    and absolutely no instructions.

    .

    I try doing everything at once.

    Write something meaningful.

    Fix my future.

    Organize my chaos.

    And somehow remember

    why I walked into the room.

    .

    My brain is a busy marketplace

    ideas shouting,

    dreams bargaining,

    doubts offering discounts.

    .

    People say,

    “Take it slow.”

    .

    Slow?

    My thoughts run marathons

    while I’m still tying my shoes.

    .

    Some days I’m confident

    I’ll conquer the world.

    Other days I’m Googling

    “how to get life together in 5 easy steps.”

    .

    But here’s the secret:

    .

    Between the confusion,

    the unfinished plans,

    and the dramatic internal monologues,

    something beautiful keeps happening.

    .

    I grow.

    I learn.

    I try again.

    .

    So yes,

    maybe I didn’t ask for this role.

    .

    But if life insists

    I’m the main character…

    .

    I might as well

    play it well.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • ✨ Gone Without Goodbye

    ✨ Gone Without Goodbye

    Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

    There was a phase of my life

    that didn’t just happen to me—

    it lived inside my bones.

    The kind that leaves slowly,

    like someone taking their hands

    off your throat…

    but gently.

    .

    I knew it was ending

    long before I admitted it.

    Goodbyes always start

    with silence —

    the kind you pretend not to notice

    while noticing every second of it.

    .

    Some days it felt like

    love wearing borrowed clothes—

    a little tight,

    a little loose,

    anything but mine.

    And yet,

    I kept adjusting myself

    like a fool

    hoping the fitting would change.

    .

    When it finally walked away,

    I didn’t cry immediately.

    I just forgot how to breathe

    for a few weeks.

    Funny, right?

    You don’t realize someone

    was oxygen

    until you’re counting

    your inhales like bills.

    .

    But the strangest thing?

    I still feel relieved

    knowing they’re okay

    wherever they are.

    Like…

    I don’t want them back,

    but I don’t want them hurting either.

    Life is weird.

    Or maybe I am.

    .

    And then there were the goodbyes

    that weren’t even goodbyes —

    just sudden disappearances

    into a place no map can bring them back from.

    The kind that split your existence

    into a “before” and an “after.”

    When they left,

    they didn’t just leave the world —

    they left my world.

    It felt like someone pulled a rib out of me,

    a whole structure of safety and warmth,

    and now I live with a space inside my chest

    that no love, no person,

    no future can ever refill.

    It doesn’t heal…

    you just learn to walk around it

    like a crack in your own spine.

    .

    Even now, when a certain song plays,

    my chest remembers

    what my mind has forgiven

    and my heart has outgrown.

    .

    And that phase?

    I’ll never get it back.

    But I’m learning to love

    the version of me

    who survived it —

    without bitterness,

    without blame,

    without begging anyone

    to stay.

    .

    🌸 A Message for Every Woman

    — Read This Slowly

    Choose yourself.

    Always.

    At every turn, every milestone, every heartbreak.

    Love yourself loudly enough

    that people think twice

    before leaving

    and think a hundred times

    before hurting you.

    .

    Stand on your own feet

    so firmly

    that anyone who walks beside you

    knows it is an honour —

    not a favour.

    .

    Let the world learn

    how to love you

    from the way you love yourself.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved.

  • If I Could Be Someone Else… I’d Still Pick Me 2.0

    If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

    A digital illustration of a woman in a white and gold saree standing gracefully between two ornate green pillars. She has long dark hair, a magenta blouse, and a soft confident expression. The text above her reads “If I Could Be Someone Else… I’d Still Pick Me 2.0,” and “Nihshabd” is written elegantly at the bottom. Illustration by Rajeshwari.
    Illustration by Rajeshwari

    **I’D STILL PICK THE UPGRADED ME**

    .

    If I could be someone else for a day,

    honestly—

    why borrow anyone else’s chaos

    when my own evolution is already iconic?

    .

    I’d choose Me 2.0 —

    the version with fewer meltdowns

    and better brain Wi-Fi.

    The me who eats chocolate on impulse

    and refuses to feel guilty about joy.

    .

    The me with built-in auto-replies like:

    “Not today, darling.

    My peace is running on premium mode.”

    .

    A me with a radar

    that detects energy vampires

    from two emotional miles away.

    .

    The version of me

    who doesn’t argue with the bathroom mirror—

    just lifts an eyebrow and says,

    “You’re doing amazing.

    Stop underestimating your own sparkle.”

    .

    A me with

    better boundaries,

    cleaner eyeliner,

    and a much smarter list of people

    whose opinions are allowed to land.

    .

    A me who knows

    when to raise the sarcasm

    and when to raise the silence.

    The Nihshabd version—

    just with a software update.

    .

    A me who says

    “I deserve softness”

    without whispering it.

    A me who dances

    like people are watching—

    and still doesn’t care.

    .

    If I could be someone else for a day,

    I’d pick the woman I’m already becoming:

    sharper, softer, louder, quieter—

    all in the right places.

    .

    Because honestly?

    Why be someone else…

    when the next version of me

    is already legendary in the making?

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    Poem & Illustration © Rajeshwari — All Rights Reserved. Do not repost or reproduce without permission.

  • Tiny Creations, Big Heart♥️

    Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.

    Original Artwork © Rajeshwari

    Honestly, I’ve taken on so many.

    I made a crochet skirt and shawl from scratch,

    I shaped mirrors and clay to make my own lippan name plate,

    I painted walls with colours that didn’t even exist in my moodboard,

    Embroidered by © Rajeshwari

    I stitched embroidery till midnight,

    and I illustrated moments that only my silence understood.

    But if I have to choose the most ambitious one…

    it’s the courage to try so many things with my own hands.

    To turn yarn into fabric, clay into art,

    walls into stories,

    Illustrated by © Rajeshwari

    and empty pages into drawings.

    Maybe my biggest DIY project isn’t a single piece —

    maybe it’s the artist I’ve slowly created inside me

    with every stitch, stroke, and sketch. ✨

    —Rajeshwari🧿💕

    Poem & Illustration © Rajeshwari — All Rights Reserved.

    Do not repost or reproduce without permission.

  • The Quiet Bloom of Me

    Illustrated with love — by Rajeshwari.

    .

    I tie my anklet

    the way dawn ties light to the sky—

    softly,

    without asking permission.

    .

    The jasmine in my hair

    isn’t decoration;

    it’s a reminder

    that I bloom on ordinary days

    just because I can.

    .

    My lehenga rustles,

    gentle as a whispered secret—

    as if it knows

    I’m not dressing for anyone,

    just returning to myself

    a little more beautifully.

    .

    If love finds me,

    let it come quietly.

    I’m already a poem

    learning its own rhythm.

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    (Poem & Illustration © Rajeshwari.

    Unauthorized copying, reposting, or use of this content is not allowed.)

  • The Word That Needs To Be Yeeted Out of This Planet.

    The Word That Needs To Be Yeeted Out of This Planet.

    If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

    If I could permanently ban one word from general usage,

    it would be—

    “SHOULD.”

    .

    Yes.

    That tiny, overconfident, unsolicited life-advisor of a word.

    .

    “You SHOULD do this.”

    “You SHOULD be like that.”

    “You SHOULD have settled by now.”

    “You SHOULD behave like an adult.”

    .

    Excuse me?

    I can’t even decide what to eat without scrolling food reels for 20 minutes.

    Please calm down.

    .

    “Should” is basically society’s way of saying:

    “We don’t know your life, your brain, your dreams, your trauma,

    but we’ll still tell you what to do.”

    .

    And honestly,

    I’ve followed more “shoulds” than Google Maps,

    and both have taken me to the wrong place at least once.

    .

    “Should” carries guilt.

    “Should” carries pressure.

    “Should” carries expectations that no one asked for

    (but are delivered free with every conversation, like tissue paper in restaurants).

    .

    Imagine a day without “should.”

    You’d wake up and think:

    “I could… if I want to.”

    Now THAT is freedom.

    That is peace.

    That is therapy without the bill.

    .

    We women especially hear a lifetime supply of “should”:

    You should talk less.

    You should smile more.

    You should adjust.

    You should compromise.

    You should dress like this.

    You should NOT dress like that.

    You should sit like a lady.

    You should stand like a lady.

    You should breathe like a lady.

    .

    Arre bhai…

    woman hu, WiFi router nahi, jo sabke expectations connect karu.

    .

    So yes…

    If the universe gives me one ban power,

    I’m taking should

    and sending it on a long, unpaid vacation.

    Somewhere far,

    where even autocorrect can’t find it.

    .

    Because life becomes softer, calmer,

    and beautifully mine

    when I replace “should” with:

    .

    “I want to.”

    “I choose to.”

    “I feel like it.”

    or

    “My peace comes first.”

    .

    Honestly?

    That’s the kind of vocabulary upgrade we all deserve. ✨

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    (Poem ©Rajeshwari.

    Unauthorized copying, reposting, or use of this content is not allowed.)

  • The Morning I Pretended I Was Fine (But Missed You Anyway)

    The Morning I Pretended I Was Fine (But Missed You Anyway)

    .

    I sit near the window every morning,

    acting like I’m here for the sunrise

    but honestly—

    I’m here because missing you has become

    my unexpected full-time job.

    .

    The sunlight walks in like it owns the place,

    and I’m like,

    “Great. Even the morning shows up before you.”

    .

    My tea stares at me,

    I stare back,

    and we both know

    we’re thinking about the same person.

    (Yes, you. If you’re reading this,

    take the hint.)

    .

    I wrap my saree around me

    like it’s emotional support fabric—

    dramatic, silky, and very good at hiding feelings

    I pretend I don’t have.

    .

    Flowers outside bloom on time,

    unlike some people I miss.

    The birds sing their cute songs,

    while I’m here trying not to double-text.

    Growth is happening.

    Slowly.

    Painfully.

    Like my WiFi.

    .

    Some days I think I’m totally fine.

    Other days I look at the sunlight and go,

    “Wow, that glow used to be you.”

    (Annoying, but true.)

    .

    I miss you—

    not in the sad-teary Bollywood way,

    but in the

    “can-you-please-teleport-here-so-I-stop-overthinking”

    kind of way.

    .

    And even though I pretend to be calm,

    collected,

    mysterious…

    my heart has already done

    a dramatic backflip

    the moment your name crosses my mind.

    .

    So here I am—

    collecting sunrises,

    collecting feelings,

    collecting proof that yes,

    I miss you…

    sweetly, stupidly,

    and with all my quiet sarcasm.

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    “Digital illustration of a woman in a pink silk saree sitting near a sunlit arched window, surrounded by vibrant bougainvillea and greenery, absorbing a calm morning atmosphere.”
    Created with love — Rajeshwari

    (Poem & Illustration ©Rajeshwari.

    Unauthorized copying, reposting, or use of this content is not allowed.)

  • Six Months of Me 

    What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

    Illustrated by Rajeshwari

    My biggest challenge in the next six months?

    Staying loyal to the life I truly want,

    not the one I’ve been conditioned to settle for.

    .

    Choosing peace over pressure —

    even when pressure arrives dressed as responsibility.

    .

    Choosing clarity over chaos —

    even when chaos feels familiar,

    comfortable,

    or expected.

    .

    Choosing myself —

    quietly, consistently,

    without apologizing for the space I take

    or the peace I protect.

    .

    Because not everything is worth my energy,

    and not everyone deserves front-row access

    to my mind, time, or heart.

    .

    And in the end… a small reminder to every woman:

    Choose yourself.

    Every time.

    Without guilt.

    Without hesitation.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    (Poem & Illustration ©Rajeshwari.

    Unauthorized copying, reposting, or use of this content is not allowed.)

  • Dear Teenage Me

    Dear Teenage Me

    What advice would you give to your teenage self?

    Advice I’d Give My Teenage Self (From the Girl Who Thought She Already Knew Everything)

    (A Nihshabd Blog)

    Dear Younger Me,

    Yes, you — the confident, dramatic, hyper-independent teenager who believed she had life all figured out. The one who acted like Google, therapist, astrologer, and philosopher all at once.

    Sit down. Future-you has a few things to say.

    .

    1. Please stop trusting people like they’re walking TED Talks

    Not everyone deserves your truth, your softness, your VIP all-access pass.

    Observe first.

    Then trust.

    And always remember this golden rule:

    Your intuition is the Wi-Fi — if the signal feels weak, don’t connect.

    .

    2. What people think about you is none of your business

    Seriously.

    People only notice you for two minutes; the rest of the time they’re busy overthinking their own life.

    So stop adjusting yourself like a radio antenna trying to get everyone’s approval.

    Be you — loudly, boldly, unapologetically.

    .

    3. Expectations? Keep them light. Like popcorn.

    Expect too much and you’ll feel drained.

    Expect too little and you’ll feel lonely.

    Expect just enough and you’ll feel peaceful.

    Balance is everything.

    Not everyone will show up for you the way you show up for them — and that’s okay.

    .

    4. Your feelings are valid. Period.

    You feel deeply — and that’s not a flaw.

    It’s a strength.

    You’re emotional, expressive, and dramatic in the most adorable way.

    Never stop being that girl who feels things fully.

    Just learn who deserves access to those feelings.

    .

    5. Relationships aren’t a syllabus to master

    They don’t come with rules, formulas, or perfect strategies.

    Choose people who respect your space, honour your voice, and understand your silence.

    Choose people who don’t make you shrink to fit in.

    And above all — choose you every single time.

    .

    6. Self-love isn’t about spa days — it’s about boundaries

    Say “no” without giving a PowerPoint explanation.

    Rest without guilt.

    Walk away from nonsense.

    Protect your peace like it’s your password.

    Your future self will thank you for every boundary you set.

    .

    7. Dance. Always.

    Dance when you’re excited.

    Dance when you’re confused.

    Dance when you have no idea what you’re doing.

    Because nothing grounds you like movement.

    Your body remembers joy even when your mind forgets.

    .

    8. Success is not a race — it’s a rhythm

    Your career will grow with your confidence.

    Your dreams will expand with your courage.

    Stop comparing your timeline to anyone else’s.

    Your path is yours — beautifully, chaotically, uniquely yours.

    .

    9. Yes, you think you know everything

    And honestly, that confidence is iconic.

    But life is funnier, smarter, and more unpredictable than you expect.

    Let it surprise you.

    Let it teach you.

    Let it shift you into someone stronger and softer at the same time.

    .

    The Big Advice:

    Choose yourself, without guilt.

    Choose the life that excites you.

    Choose the work that energises you.

    Choose the people who value you.

    Choose growth, even when it feels uncomfortable.

    And please — trust your own voice more than the noise around you.

    .

    A Final Thank You

    To my teenage self:

    Thank you.

    For believing in magic,

    for dreaming without limits,

    for trying fearlessly,

    for laughing loudly,

    for being bold enough to imagine a future no one else could see.

    Aaj jo main hu…

    it is because of you.

    Your courage.

    Your clarity.

    Your wildness.

    Your stubborn belief in yourself.

    I’m proud of you — endlessly.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    (Poem ©Rajeshwari.

    Unauthorized copying, reposting, or use of this content is not allowed.)

  • ✨ The Hidden Kind of Boredom No One Admits To✨

    ✨ The Hidden Kind of Boredom No One Admits To✨

    What bores you?

    ✨ What Bores Me — More Than Anything

    (A Nihshabd Blog)

    .

    What bores me?

    Honestly… not the usual stuff.

    Not long queues.

    Not slow days.

    Not silent afternoons.

    Not even people who talk too much.

    .

    I get bored of something else —

    something quieter.

    .

    I get bored of pretending.

    Of acting fine when I am not.

    Of smiling because it’s expected.

    Of listening to conversations that have

    a lot of noise

    but no soul.

    .

    I get bored of people

    who speak without saying anything

    and never listen when you finally do.

    .

    I get bored of shallow connections —

    the “How are you?”

    without the “Tell me what’s really going on.”

    .

    I get bored of the energy

    that asks me to shrink

    to make someone else comfortable.

    .

    I get bored of those moments

    where I have to hide

    the loudest parts of me

    just to fit in.

    .

    What bores me the most?

    Living a life that doesn’t feel like mine.

    Talking just to fill the silence.

    Saying “yes” when my heart whispers “no.”

    Showing up for people

    who never show up for me.

    .

    Give me real conversations.

    Give me messy emotions.

    Give me the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable.

    Give me people who feel deeply,

    who pause,

    who ask,

    who care.

    .

    I don’t get bored of life.

    I get bored of half-lived life.

    .

    Because I don’t want days

    that look perfect from the outside

    but feel empty from the inside.

    .

    I want a life that’s honest.

    Raw.

    Soft.

    Loud.

    Quiet.

    Whatever it needs to be —

    as long as it’s real.

    .

    And anything less than that…

    bores me.

    .

    —Rajeshwari🧿💕

    Poem & Illustration © Rajeshwari — All Rights Reserved.

    Do not repost or reproduce without permission.