Category: Nihshabd journal

What were your parents doing at your age?

This question sounds innocent.

Very innocent.

But the moment someone asks it, your mind panics like it just heard,

“So… where do you see yourself in five years?”

At my age, my parents were already married.

With kids.

With responsibilities.

With zero time to sit and overthink life.

And my mumma?

She wasn’t just managing the house.

She was working.

Earning.

Contributing.

Holding two full-time roles without calling either of them a “struggle.”

Office files in one hand,

school notebooks in the other,

and somehow — love everywhere.

She came back from work, cooked meals that tasted like comfort,

kept the house running,

knew everyone’s schedule,

and still had the energy to ask,

“Sab theek hai na?”

Honestly, I still don’t know where that energy came from.

Probably the same place where she kept extra strength, patience, and magic.

At my age, my mother didn’t chase balance.

She created it — quietly, gracefully, daily.

And my dad?

He was right there.

Working hard.

Providing.

Supporting.

Being steady — the calm in the chaos.

He wasn’t loud about it.

He didn’t announce sacrifices.

He just showed up.

Every day.

My parents were a team.

Both earning.

Both contributing.

Both carrying responsibility — together.

No long speeches about equality.

No hashtags.

Just daily practice.

They didn’t discuss “sharing the load.”

They simply shared it.

They didn’t talk about burnout.

They had tired eyes, aching backs — and still showed up.

They didn’t say,

“I need space.”

They said,

“Ho jayega.”

And somehow… it did.

They didn’t google,

“Is it normal to feel lost?”

They didn’t have the option to feel lost.

Life had already handed them roles and deadlines.

And us?

We think.

We overthink.

We over-overthink.

Then we google why we overthink.

Then we’re tired.

Our parents didn’t have therapy language.

But they had emotional strength we’re still trying to decode.

They didn’t talk about work-life balance.

They lived it — imperfectly, honestly.

And before we judge ourselves too harshly — let’s pause for a second.

Because the truth is…

I’m doing good too.

Maybe not in the loud, trophy-holding way.

But in the quiet, everyday way.

I show up.

I try.

I learn.

I fall.

I get up — sometimes slowly, sometimes dramatically.

I am handling pressures they never had.

I am unlearning things they never had time to question.

I am choosing awareness, even when ignorance would be easier.

I may not have figured everything out —

But I am figuring myself out.

And that counts.

A lot.

But let’s be honest.

They didn’t live in a world where everyone’s life update was in your pocket.

They didn’t compare their reality to strangers before brushing their teeth.

They weren’t expected to:

earn well heal emotionally stay calm stay kind stay relevant

All at the same time.

So yes —

They did a lot at our age.

But so are we.

They were busy surviving and building.

We are busy understanding and becoming.

They built homes together.

We are trying to build peace — sometimes with coffee, sometimes with chaos.

So the next time someone asks,

“What were your parents doing at your age?”

Smile.

And think:

They did their best — as a team.

And I’m doing my best — in my own way.

Different times.

Same effort.

And honestly?

That’s more than enough. 😊💛