What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
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The Trouble with Being a Little Too Agreeable 😂
People pleasing is one habit I wish I’d understood better when I was younger. Saying yes to everyone sounds harmless until you become the unofficial manager of a department you never applied to join. 😂
Daily Writing Prompt: What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
Before we begin, a small request: please don’t bring up my past just to sprinkle some extra salt on old wounds. I’ve already paid the tuition fees for those life lessons, and trust me, the course wasn’t cheap! 😪😂 Let the syllabus remain closed!
People Pleasing: The Trouble with Always Saying Yes
If there’s one thing I wish my younger self had known, it’s that saying yes to everyone can sometimes mean saying no to yourself.
Every “Yes, no problem!” comes with the risk of becoming a permanent job description.
You agree to do one little thing, and before you know it, you’re the unofficial manager of a department you never applied to join. No salary, no promotion, not even a thank-you note sometimes. Just unlimited responsibilities and the occasional “You don’t mind, do you?”
Oh, the things we do to maintain our excellent reputation as the person who never says no! 😂
The worst part? I still haven’t learnt my lesson.
Even today, before saying no, I mentally prepare for the other person’s disappointment, rehearse explanations they haven’t asked for, and occasionally say yes just to avoid making things awkward.
Apparently, my mouth has a faster response time than my brain. My brain is still reviewing the request while my mouth has already signed the contract.
People Pleasing and the Fear of Disappointing Others
And God forbid someone should feel bad! What if they misunderstand me? What if they think I’ve changed? What if they’re upset with me?
Meanwhile, I’m sitting there feeling exhausted over a commitment I voluntarily agreed to, wondering why my life suddenly resembles a customer care department that never closes.
Honestly, I deserve a customer satisfaction award. The only dissatisfied customer, however, is me. 😂
Perhaps this is one thing I wish my younger self had known: people change, and so do you.
The things you once did without a second thought may eventually feel like obligations you can no longer carry so easily. Your priorities change. Your energy changes. Even your understanding of what it means to be a good person changes.
And that’s okay.
People Pleasing: You Cannot Control Everything
You cannot control how people react, what they think of you, or whether everyone approves of your decisions.
You can explain yourself with the precision of a lawyer presenting a case in the Supreme Court, and someone might still misunderstand you.
Congratulations! You’ve just wasted three hours preparing a defence for a crime you didn’t commit. 😂
I wish I had understood earlier that saying no doesn’t automatically make you rude, selfish, or a terrible human being.
Sometimes, it simply means you have other things to do. Sometimes, it means you’re tired. And sometimes, it means you’d genuinely prefer to sit quietly with a cup of coffee rather than add another item to your never-ending to-do list.
A revolutionary concept, I know!
Learning to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
Old habits are stubborn little creatures, especially the ones people have grown accustomed to.
When you’ve always been the person who agrees, even a perfectly reasonable no can feel like a shocking plot twist.
And perhaps that’s the hardest part—not learning to say no, but accepting that someone might not like the new version of you.
Still, I have a soft spot for my younger self, who said yes so easily.
She wasn’t foolish. She was trying to be considerate, to be helpful, and to make things easier for everyone around her. She just hadn’t figured out that she was allowed to include herself in that everyone.
I wouldn’t scold her for it. I’d probably give her a hug, offer her a cup of coffee, and gently suggest that the next time someone asks for a favour, she try saying, “Let me think about it.”
Baby steps. We’re not performing miracles here. 😂
And if I ever master this skill, please don’t expect an announcement. I’ll be too busy learning how to say no to the people asking me to explain why I’ve suddenly learnt to say no.
Some habits are hard to break. Especially the ones that come with excellent customer service, a generous heart, and absolutely no cancellation policy. 😂🤍
P.S. If you’re reading this and thinking of asking me for a favour, please allow me at least three to five business days to consult my brain before my mouth responds.
Let’s Talk! 💬
Are you also someone who says yes before your brain has had a chance to review the terms and conditions? 😂
Have you ever agreed to do something and immediately regretted it?
Tell me in the comments. Let’s see how many of us are running an unpaid customer care department without even knowing it!
And if this made you smile, share it with someone who needs a gentle reminder that saying no doesn’t make them a bad person. 🦋🤍
Until The Next Whisper,
—Rajeshwari 🧿💕
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