NihshabdBlog

Author: nihshabdblog

  • Not Every Conversation Is a Signal

    Not Every Conversation Is a Signal

    This poem was not written out of anger,

    but out of a quiet exhaustion many women carry —

    the exhaustion of being misunderstood,

    of having their kindness turned into assumptions,

    and their boundaries turned into battles

    that far too many girls face every day.

    .

    Sometimes I wonder…

    do girls even have the right to just talk normally?

    .

    Because the moment we do —

    a simple conversation, a smile, basic kindness —

    it somehow turns into a “signal” in someone else’s head.

    .

    A girl and a boy having a casual conversation in a café, with thought bubbles symbolizing different interpretations.
    Sometimes, it’s just a conversation — nothing more

    .

    A “maybe she likes me.”

    A “maybe this means something more.”

    .

    But it doesn’t.

    .

    Some girls are just like that —

    naturally kind,

    soft in the way they speak,

    warm in the way they treat people.

    .

    They make others feel comfortable,

    not special.

    They are just being themselves.

    .

    And they shouldn’t have to change that

    just to feel safe.

    .

    But somehow… they are expected to.

    .

    Because when they say,

    clearly, calmly,

    “I’m not interested,”

    .

    something shifts.

    .

    Not in them —

    but in the space around them.

    .

    Kindness becomes confusion.

    Silence becomes attitude.

    Distance becomes a challenge.

    .

    And suddenly,

    “No”

    is no longer enough.

    .

    Messages don’t stop.

    Boundaries are ignored.

    And what should have ended with respect…

    turns into discomfort,

    sometimes even fear.

    .

    Honestly?

    It’s exhausting.

    .

    We don’t want to be rude.

    We’re just trying to feel safe.

    We’re not leading anyone on —

    we’re just being normal human beings.

    .

    And yes… we know,

    not all men are like this.

    Many are respectful, kind, and understanding —

    and this is not about them.

    .

    But the ones who are not…

    make it harder to feel safe anywhere.

    .

    So tell me —

    why should kindness feel like a mistake?

    .

    Why should being polite

    come with consequences?

    .

    Why should anyone have to change

    who they are,

    just to avoid being misunderstood?

    .

    Because a conversation

    is not a confession.

    A smile

    is not an invitation.

    And kindness

    is not a promise.

    .

    Not every smile is interest.

    Not every conversation is a signal.

    And every “No” deserves to be respected —

    the first time.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • This Wasn’t on the Map

    You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?

    .

    A misty mountain road with a parked car and bike beside a small chai stall, glowing softly in the cold evening.
    Somewhere between roads and pauses ☕🌫️

    A cross-country trip?

    This should have been an easy question.

    But no… it’s one of those questions where life quietly walks in and complicates everything 😄

    Because technically,

    if I really had to travel across a country,

    I’d just take a plane.

    Window seat. Earphones on.

    And a silent deal with the universe —

    “Just get me there.”

    Simple.

    But what if…

    it’s not just about getting there?

    What if it’s about

    the in-betweens,

    the unexpected turns,

    and those moments that were never part of the plan?

    Suddenly, the plane feels a little too efficient.

    .

    A car makes sense.

    A car is comfort.

    It’s playlists, long roads, and random chai stops ☕

    It’s… control.

    Windows slightly down,

    cool air brushing past your face,

    mountains slowly unfolding like they’ve been waiting.

    You decide when to pause,

    when to move,

    and when to just stare out the window

    like you’re the main character in a film 🎬

    With a car, life feels a little more… sorted.

    .

    But a bike…

    A bike isn’t sorted.

    It’s wind, noise, unpredictability.

    It’s cold air you can almost taste,

    and roads that don’t ask where you’re going.

    It’s “let’s take this turn… just because.”

    On a bike, the destination softens.

    And the journey becomes real.

    A little messy.

    A little magical.

    .

    So what would I choose?

    Honestly…

    I’d start with a car.

    Because I like knowing I’m going somewhere.

    But somewhere along the way,

    when the map starts to matter less,

    and time slows down just enough…

    maybe near a quiet chai stall,

    with the mountains watching silently—

    I’d park the car.

    And take a bike.

    .

    Because maybe…

    some journeys aren’t meant to be comfortable.

    They’re meant to be felt.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • The Girls Who Say “Not Yet”

    The Girls Who Say “Not Yet”

    Girls Who Are Not Ready Yet

    .

    There are girls

    who smile very politely

    when someone says,

    .

    “So… when are you getting married?”

    .

    They nod.

    They sip their tea.

    They even smile a little.

    .

    Because apparently

    this question is asked

    with the same casual curiosity

    as

    “Did you eat?”

    or

    “How’s the weather?”

    .

    Inside, though,

    a small voice quietly whispers —

    .

    “Not yet.”

    .

    Not rebellion.

    Not attitude.

    Not feminism gone wild.

    Just a girl

    trying to figure out

    how her own life works first.

    .

    You see,

    she has only recently learned

    the small magic

    of standing on her own feet.

    .

    Paying her own bills.

    Buying her own coffee.

    Making tiny decisions

    without a family meeting.

    .

    It may look ordinary to you.

    .

    But to her

    it feels like

    discovering gravity.

    .

    Then someone arrives

    with a very reassuring smile:

    .

    “Why do you need a job?

    Our house has everything.”

    .

    And she almost laughs.

    .

    Because that tiny salary

    you think is so unnecessary

    is actually

    .

    her safety blanket,

    her quiet confidence,

    her proof

    that she exists

    outside someone else’s surname..

    .

    But try explaining that.

    .

    So she simply says,

    .

    “Hmm… let’s see.”.

    .

    Which, translated from

    Girl Language,

    roughly means —

    .

    Please give me a little time to breathe.

    .

    She is not against love.

    She is not allergic to marriage.

    .

    She just doesn’t want

    her entire life

    packed neatly

    into someone else’s expectations

    like luggage on a conveyor belt.

    .

    Because building a life

    takes years.

    .

    Confidence,

    independence,

    small freedoms.

    .

    These things grow slowly —

    like plants.

    .

    And no plant survives

    if you pull it out

    just when it begins to bloom..

    .

    So yes,

    some people call her stubborn.

    .

    Some say

    she is “too independent.”.

    .

    And a few whisper

    the most dramatic line of all —

    .

    “She might miss her chance.”

    .

    But the truth is far less dramatic.

    .

    She is just a girl

    who is not ready yet.

    .

    And sometimes

    “not yet”

    is not fear..

    .

    It is wisdom.

    .

    Because the right life

    the right love

    and the right timing.

    .

    should never feel

    like a deadline..

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • The Most Confident Person I Know Might Surprise You

    The Most Confident Person I Know Might Surprise You

    Who is the most confident person you know?

    .

    The Most Confident Person I Know

    .

    Whenever people talk about confidence,

    they usually imagine someone very impressive.

    .

    A bold voice.

    A fearless personality.

    Someone who walks into a room

    like the room has been waiting

    their entire life for them to arrive.

    .

    You know the type.

    .

    The ones who speak first,

    laugh the loudest,

    and somehow always look like

    they know exactly what they are doing.

    .

    I know someone like that too.

    .

    But here’s the funny part.

    .

    From the outside,

    you would probably never guess

    they are confident at all.

    .

    They are quiet.

    .

    They sometimes overthink small things.

    They prefer peaceful corners

    over crowded conversations.

    .

    If there is a spotlight,

    they will politely step aside

    and let someone else stand there.

    .

    Not exactly the poster child

    for confidence.

    .

    But I’ve watched this person carefully.

    .

    They don’t try to impress anyone.

    They don’t change themselves

    to fit every room they walk into.

    .

    They simply show up

    exactly as they are.

    .

    No performance.

    No unnecessary noise.

    .

    And that, strangely enough,

    is the most confident thing I have ever seen.

    .

    Because real confidence

    isn’t about being the loudest voice.

    .

    It’s about being comfortable

    with your own quiet.

    .

    Which leads to a slightly awkward realization.

    .

    Whenever someone asks me,

    .

    “Who is the most confident person you know?”

    .

    I pause for a moment.

    .

    Not because I don’t know the answer.

    .

    But because it feels a little strange

    to say it out loud.

    .

    The most confident person I know

    is not the loudest one in the room.

    .

    It’s the introvert

    standing quietly in the corner,

    .

    pretending to mind their own business…

    .

    while secretly knowing

    they’re doing just fine.

    .

    And yes,

    .

    that person

    is me.🙂

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Sometimes All the Heart Needs Is a Song

    Sometimes All the Heart Needs Is a Song

    What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

    .

    Negative feelings never send a warning.

    .

    They don’t knock.

    They don’t announce their arrival.

    .

    One moment the day feels normal,

    and the next moment

    something inside the heart

    becomes strangely heavy.

    .

    Suddenly my mind

    starts doing what it does best

    .

    overthinking.

    .

    My brain, honestly,

    deserves a gold medal

    for creating problems

    that may not even exist.

    .

    And then…

    the eyes decide

    to join the drama.

    .

    One tear appears.

    .

    Then another.

    .

    And before I know it,

    my emotions have opened

    a small water supply project.

    .

    Very efficient.

    Very dramatic.

    .

    That is usually the moment

    I reach for my simplest cure.

    .

    Music.

    .

    No advice.

    No lectures.

    No motivational speeches.

    .

    Just one simple song.

    .

    And something quiet

    begins to change.

    .

    The storm inside

    slows down a little.

    .

    The heart loosens its grip

    on whatever sadness

    it was holding five minutes ago.

    .

    Strange thing about music is

    .

    it understands emotions

    without asking any questions.

    .

    Sometimes I even laugh

    at myself thinking,

    .

    “Really?

    I was this sad just a moment ago?”

    .

    Because somewhere

    between one lyric and the next,

    .

    the world feels

    a little lighter,

    a little kinder,

    and slightly less dramatic.

    .

    Which makes me believe

    something very simple

    .

    sometimes life doesn’t need

    big solutions.

    .

    Sometimes all it needs

    is a simple song,

    .

    a few honest tears,

    .

    and a heart

    willing to press play again.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • The Places Where I Accidentally Disappear

    The Places Where I Accidentally Disappear

    What activities do you lose yourself in?

    .

    People often ask about the places where I accidentally disappear. They expect a neat little hobby list. Reading. Painting. Yoga at sunrise…

    As if it’s some neat little hobby list.

    Like:

    Reading.

    Painting.

    Yoga at sunrise.

    Very aesthetic. Very organised.

    Unfortunately, my mind does not operate like a well-labelled storage box.

    I don’t schedule losing myself.

    I simply… vanish.

    Sometimes it happens while writing.

    A sentence arrives quietly, like a shy guest, and before I know it, I am chasing words through paragraphs as if they are fireflies in the dark. One thought becomes another, then another, and suddenly an hour has passed.

    No warning.

    No permission taken.

    Illustrating does this too.

    When a blank digital canvas stares back at me, I tell myself I will “just add a small detail.”

    A line here.

    A shadow there.

    Next thing I know, I am zoomed in at 400%, arguing with a pixel.

    This pixel, apparently, holds the fate of the entire universe.

    Sometimes I disappear into thoughts instead.

    Not dramatic thoughts. Just the quiet wandering kind.

    The kind where a simple idea grows branches —

    What if…

    Why do we…

    Isn’t it strange that…

    And suddenly my mind is exploring philosophical forests when I was only supposed to be making tea.

    The tea, by the way, is usually cold by the time I return to reality.

    And then there are moments when nothing “productive” is happening at all.

    Just watching the sky change colours.

    Listening to a song too many times.

    Or staring at something ordinary until it quietly becomes beautiful.

    Those moments are dangerous.

    Because that’s when time slips away most politely.

    No drama.

    No announcements.

    Just a gentle disappearance.

    So if you ask me what activities make me lose myself…

    The honest answer is this:

    Anything that feels a little magical, a little curious, and slightly unnecessary to the practical world.

    Writing.

    Illustrating.

    Thinking too much about small things.

    Apparently, my favourite hobby is accidentally leaving reality for a while.

    And honestly?

    I’m not in a hurry to come back.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • The Awkward Truth About My “Favourite” TV Series

    The Awkward Truth About My “Favourite” TV Series

    What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?

    The Shows I’ve Watched More Than 5 Times

    (Or… the shocking lack of them)

    .

    Some people have comfort shows.

    .

    You know the kind.

    The ones they’ve watched five times… ten times… sometimes so many times that they can quote entire scenes before the actors even open their mouths.

    .

    Ask them their favourite series and they’ll give you a list longer than a grocery receipt.

    .

    But me?

    .

    My answer is slightly… awkward.

    .

    Because the truth is —

    I’m not really a movies and TV series person.

    .

    Yes, I know.

    A rare species in the age of streaming platforms and “Just one more episode” promises that turn into 2 a.m. regret.

    .

    While people around me are discussing plot twists, character arcs, and season finales, I’m usually somewhere else entirely.

    .

    Most likely:

    .

    • reading a book

    • listening to songs

    • making something with my hands

    • or doing some craft work that looked “quick” on the internet but somehow took three hours.

    .

    If I do watch something occasionally, it’s usually an episode of Devon Ke Dev… Mahadev.

    .

    Not because I’m binge-watching it like a dramatic Netflix thriller.

    More like the way someone revisits a quiet temple.

    .

    No cliffhangers.

    No shocking betrayals.

    No characters suddenly turning evil in season five for “plot development.”

    .

    Just mythology, calm storytelling, and Lord Shiva being effortlessly majestic.

    .

    Honestly, that’s probably the closest thing I have to a “re-watch.”

    .

    Meanwhile, the idea of watching the same movie five times makes my brain ask a very practical question:

    .

    But there are so many books waiting to be read…

    .

    And if I have two free hours, my mind automatically votes for:

    Book ✔️

    Craft project ✔️

    Music ✔️

    .

    Movie…

    …maybe someday.

    .

    Or maybe not.

    But hey — everyone has their own version of entertainment.

    Some people binge-watch entire seasons in one weekend.

    And some of us binge-buy notebooks, start reading three books at once, and suddenly decide it’s the perfect time to reorganize craft supplies.

    Different hobbies.

    Different chaos.

    Same happiness.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Between Logic and Lucky Charms

    Are you superstitious?

    Between Logic and Luck

    .

    “Are you superstitious?”

    Someone asked me once

    with that half-smile

    people wear

    when they already know

    they will judge the answer.

    .

    I thought for a moment.

    .

    Well…

    I don’t exactly believe in everything.

    .

    But also…

    I don’t exactly risk everything.

    .

    If a black cat crosses the road,

    I don’t panic —

    I just pause…

    you know…

    to let the cat finish its important meeting.

    .

    If someone sneezes

    just as I’m leaving the house,

    I don’t cancel my plans.

    I simply sit down again

    for thirty seconds

    like a very disciplined scientist

    waiting for the universe

    to reset itself.

    .

    And if someone says,

    “Don’t cut your nails at night,”

    I don’t argue with centuries of aunties.

    I quietly respect

    their mysterious research.

    .

    Do I know if any of it is true?

    .

    No.

    But here is the strange thing.

    .

    Some beliefs

    are not about logic.

    They are about memory.

    .

    They carry the voices

    of grandmothers,

    mothers,

    and the quiet instructions

    of childhood evenings.

    .

    Tiny rituals

    that followed us

    into adulthood

    without asking permission.

    .

    Maybe none of it changes fate.

    .

    Maybe the universe

    doesn’t care

    whether we step out

    with the right foot first.

    .

    But still…

    sometimes I do.

    .

    Because some habits

    are not about fear.

    .

    They are about comfort..

    .

    And honestly,

    if avoiding a ladder

    or knocking on wood

    gives my heart

    two extra seconds of peace—

    .

    why would I argue

    with peace?

    .

    So yes…

    maybe I am

    a little superstitious.

    .

    Not because I believe

    everything will go wrong

    if I don’t follow them.

    .

    But because life is uncertain enough

    already.

    .

    And if a tiny ritual

    makes me feel

    a little safer

    inside this chaotic universe….

    .

    I think

    I’ll keep it.

    .

    —Rajeshwari🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Which Animal Am I? A Whole Wildlife Sanctuary

    Which Animal Am I? A Whole Wildlife Sanctuary

    Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

    Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

    .

    This question assumes a person can neatly fit into one animal.

    .

    I find that slightly ambitious.

    .

    Because if I’m being honest, my personality is less one animal and more… a mildly disorganized zoo.

    .

    Some days I have the stubborn determination of a cat that refuses to move from your laptop keyboard.

    Some days I carry the quiet patience of an elephant — remembering things I probably should have forgotten years ago.

    .

    There are days with the restless curiosity of a sparrow,

    and days when I simply want to disappear into the calm silence of a deer in the forest.

    .

    So no, I’m not one animal.

    .

    I’m a small, slightly chaotic wildlife sanctuary.

    .

    But if I must choose one to add to the list… it would be a butterfly.

    .

    Not because it knows it’s beautiful.

    Butterflies rarely pause to admire their own wings.

    .

    They simply move through the world, unaware of the colors they carry…

    while the rest of us stop and stare.

    .

    And maybe that’s the quiet truth about many of us.

    .

    We spend so much time noticing the dents in our wings…

    we forget someone else is busy admiring the colors.

    .

    Which means the real problem isn’t that we aren’t beautiful —

    it’s that we’re terrible at being our own audience.

    .

    —Rajeshwari🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Dear 100-Year-Old Me, Did We Finally Become Her?

    Dear 100-Year-Old Me, Did We Finally Become Her?

    Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

    Letter to My 100-Year-Old Self

    .

    Dear Hundred-Year-Old Me,

    .

    Well… look at you.

    .

    A whole century of living

    and you’re still here.

    .

    I hope you aged like good stories do —

    a little wrinkled,

    a little mysterious,

    and completely uninterested

    in nonsense.

    .

    First of all,

    I hope you finally learned

    that loving people is beautiful…

    .

    but chasing them

    is extremely bad cardio.

    .

    Please tell me you stopped

    trusting people blindly.

    .

    Eyes are for seeing, darling —

    not for closing

    while handing your heart away.

    .

    I hope by now

    you mastered the ancient art of saying:

    .

    “No.”

    Without an essay afterwards.

    .

    And I hope you kept

    that dangerous habit

    of respecting yourself

    even when the world preferred

    you smaller.

    .

    Some people call it selfish.

    .

    I call it

    excellent maintenance.

    .

    Tell me something.

    .

    Did you finally become

    that woman you kept imagining?

    .

    The one who walks into a room

    like she owns the silence

    before she even says a word.

    .

    Calm.

    Magnetic.

    Beautiful in the quiet way

    that storms are beautiful

    from a safe distance.

    .

    I hope you loved people deeply.

    .

    But I hope you also remembered

    a very important rule:

    .

    Love everyone if you wish…

    but if they don’t return it,

    .

    do not stand at their door

    like unpaid emotional staff.

    .

    Close the gate.

    .

    Water your own garden.

    .

    Flowers grow better

    without begging.

    .

    And please tell me

    you kept your humor.

    .

    Because life without sarcasm

    is basically

    a long motivational speech.

    .

    Also, dear ancient queen,

    .

    I hope you are still buying notebooks

    you absolutely don’t need.

    .

    Some habits

    should never be cured.

    .

    Most importantly,

    .

    I hope you became

    that beautiful woman

    who is calm not because life was easy,

    .

    but because she finally realized

    she is enough company

    for her own soul.

    .

    And if anyone ever doubted you—

    .

    I hope you smiled politely

    and continued being magnificent

    out of pure stubbornness.

    .

    With love,

    confidence,

    and a little dramatic flair,

    .

    Your younger self

    who is still learning

    how to become you.

    —Rajeshwari🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved