Category: life lessons

  • The Garden Within: A Letter to My 20-Year-Old Self

    The Garden Within: A Letter to My 20-Year-Old Self

    What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?

    Dear 20-year-old me,

    I know you’re chasing butterflies.

    You call them dreams,
    people,
    opportunities,
    love.

    But they’re all butterflies.

    The more desperately you run after them,
    the farther they seem to fly.

    So you run.

    Across years.

    Across heartbreaks.

    Across versions of yourself.

    Convinced that happiness is always
    one step ahead,
    one promotion away,
    one relationship away,
    one miracle away.

    And every time something beautiful leaves,
    you blame your hands for not holding on tightly enough.

    What you don’t know yet
    is that butterflies were never meant to be caught.

    They were meant to be admired.

    One day,
    without announcing itself,
    life will change the question.

    Instead of asking,
    “How do I keep beautiful things from leaving?”

    You’ll start asking,

    “How do I build a beautiful life, even when they do?”

    And that’s when everything changes.

    You’ll plant tiny seeds—
    a quiet morning,
    a good book,
    a laugh that reaches your eyes,
    people who feel like sunlight,
    dreams that belong only to you.

    Slowly,
    almost secretly,
    a garden will begin to grow.

    And then one morning,
    you’ll notice something strange.

    The butterflies are back.

    Not because you chased them.

    Not because you begged them to stay.

    But because beautiful things are naturally drawn
    to places where they can rest.

    Looking back, I realize that every experience—the beautiful ones and the painful ones—helped shape this garden. Some became flowers, some became thorns, but each of them taught me something about who I was becoming. Perhaps growing up is not about creating a perfect life. Perhaps it is about learning to find beauty, meaning, and gratitude in every season we live through.

    🌿 The secret was never learning how to catch butterflies.
 It was learning how to grow a garden worth returning to.

    With love,
    Rajeshwari
    🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari

    If you’d like to linger a little longer, here are a few thoughts that grew from the same garden:

    Winter, My Favorite Season… and My Biggest Enabler 🤭❄️

    Healthy Boundaries in Relationships: A Guide to Lasting Love

  • Healthy Boundaries in Relationships: A Guide to Lasting Love

    Healthy Boundaries in Relationships: A Guide to Lasting Love

    Love Grows Better When It Has Room to Breathe

    There was a time when love was measured by letters.

    Today, it is measured by blue ticks.

    “Seen at 10:32 PM.”

    “No reply till 11:05 PM.”

    “Somewhere between love letters and read receipts, we forgot how to trust.’’

    And suddenly, a relationship that survived years of memories is standing trial because someone took a nap.

    Welcome to modern love.

    Where everyone wants understanding, but nobody wants to understand.

    Where everyone wants respect, but forgets to give it.

    And where “Why didn’t you reply?” has become more common than “How are you?”


    Healthy Boundaries Are Not Walls

    The biggest misunderstanding about boundaries is that people think they are walls.

    They are not.

    Walls keep people out.

    Boundaries teach people how to stay.

    There is a difference.

    A healthy relationship is not two people holding each other so tightly that neither can breathe.

    It is two people holding hands while still allowing each other enough space to remain themselves.

    Because love should never feel like a prison sentence with unlimited calls and mandatory attendance.


    Love Does Not Mean Constant Availability

    Somewhere along the way, we started believing that if someone truly loves us, they should always be available.

    Immediately.

    Instantly.

    Magically.

    As if they were customer support representatives assigned exclusively to our emotional emergencies.

    But people have lives.

    Work.

    Stress.

    Bad days.

    Silence.

    And sometimes they simply need time.

    A delayed reply is not a crime.

    A missed call is not betrayal.

    And needing space is not rejection.

    The strongest relationships are not built on constant communication.

    They are built on consistent trust.

    Love grows where trust lives.

    Suspicion grows where assumptions rent a room.


    Stop Keeping Score

    “You forgot my birthday.”

    “You didn’t call first.”

    “You always do this.”

    “You never do that.”

    And just like that, a relationship becomes a courtroom.

    Both partners become lawyers.

    Nobody wants to be a judge.

    Everybody wants to win.

    But relationships are not competitions.

    There are no trophies for proving who suffered more.

    No medals for remembering every mistake since 2019.

    No championship title for winning an argument while losing the person.

    Sometimes the healthiest thing two people can do is stop counting.

    Because love is not accounting.

    It is understanding.


    The Problem Is Not Conflict

    Most relationships do not break because of problems.

    They break because of the way people handle problems.

    A disagreement is normal.

    Frustration is normal.

    Anger is normal.

    Even misunderstandings are normal.

    What matters is what happens next.

    Do we listen?

    Do we explain?

    Do we try to understand before defending ourselves?

    Or do we immediately start building a blame game strong enough to collapse the entire relationship?

    Because “You hurt me” starts a conversation.

    “You are the problem” starts a war.

    And wars have never been known for producing healthy relationships.


    Respect Is Still Romantic

    We talk so much about chemistry.

    So much about attraction.

    So much about butterflies.

    Nobody talks enough about respect.

    But respect is what remains after the butterflies get tired.

    Respect is answering kindly even when annoyed.

    Respect is not mocking someone’s feelings.

    Respect is allowing differences without turning them into battles.

    Respect is saying,

    “I don’t agree with you, but I still value you.”

    And honestly?

    That may be one of the purest forms of love.


    Let People Be Human

    One of the most beautiful boundaries we can create is allowing people to be imperfect.

    Not every mistake is disrespect.

    Not every silence is abandonment.

    Not every disagreement is a red flag.

    Sometimes people are simply human.

    Tired humans.

    Confused humans.

    Learning humans.

    Healing humans.

    The same way we are.

    The same grace we want for ourselves often becomes the grace we forget to give others.


    The Secret Nobody Talks About

    A healthy relationship is not made of perfect days.

    It is made of repaired days.

    The conversations after misunderstandings.

    The apologies after mistakes.

    The hugs after arguments.

    The decision to stay kind when being right feels easier.

    Anyone can love during sunshine.

    The real magic appears when two people learn how to walk together through storms without turning into the storm themselves.


    Before You Leave

    If there is one thing today’s generation needs to hear, it is this:

    Not every discomfort means the relationship is wrong.

    Not every challenge means it is time to leave.

    And not every conflict means love has disappeared.

    Sometimes growth feels uncomfortable.

    Sometimes understanding takes effort.

    Sometimes relationships require patience.

    Healthy boundaries are not about keeping people at a distance.

    They are about protecting the respect, trust, and individuality that allow love to survive.

    Because in the end, love was never meant to be a game of “You didn’t” and “I did.”

    It was always meant to be two imperfect people saying:

    “Let’s figure this out together.”

    And perhaps that is what real love looks like—

    Not two people who never hurt each other.

    But two people who care enough to learn how not to.

    Like the first sunlight of the morning, relationships do not need to be perfect to be beautiful.

    They simply need warmth, patience, and a little room to grow.

    And when love learns to breathe,

    it learns to stay.

    ♥️

    With love,

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • How to Build Self-Confidence When You Overthink Everything

    How to Build Self-Confidence When You Overthink Everything

    What’s the Best Way to Build Self-Confidence?

    .

    I’d love to know.

    .

    People ask this question as if there’s a secret formula.

    .

    A few simple steps.

    A daily routine.

    Maybe a self-help book.

    .

    Maybe one of those people online who wake up at 5 a.m., drink green juice, meditate, journal, exercise, and somehow have their entire life figured out before I’ve decided whether I want tea or coffee.

    .

    The advice is usually very straightforward.

    “Believe in yourself.”

    “Just be confident.”

    “Stop overthinking.”

    Which is adorable.

    .

    That’s like telling a cat to stop being suspicious or telling the weather to pick a personality and stick with it.

    .

    However, the strange thing is that I genuinely admire confident people.

    .

    Not the loud ones.

    .

    The genuinely confident ones.

    .

    The people who walk into a situation, do what needs to be done, and somehow don’t spend the next six hours replaying every word they said.

    .

    If something goes wrong, they adjust.

    If something goes right, they move on.

    .

    The Problem Isn’t the Situation

    .

    Meanwhile, some of us can turn a minor inconvenience into a full-scale research project.

    .

    A simple phone call becomes a strategic operation.

    .

    An email sits in drafts while we reread it seventeen times to make sure it doesn’t accidentally start a war.

    .

    An unanswered message becomes a mystery that requires evidence, theories, and possibly a small investigation team.

    .

    In reality, the  actual situation is usually tiny.

    .

    Our imagination just arrives with a larger budget.

    And that’s where confidence and overthinking seem to part ways.

    .

    Confident people look at a small problem and think,

    “I’ll handle it.”

    .

    The rest of us look at the same problem and think,

    “Yes, but let’s first explore all 47 possible disasters.”

    .

    And yet, here’s the funny part.

    Most of those disasters never happen.

    Not even one.

    Yet somehow my brain remains committed to producing sequels.

    .

    Confidence Has Terrible Timing

    .

    Meanwhile, I’ve also noticed that confidence has terrible timing.

    .

    It rarely shows up before the scary thing.

    .

    Instead, it usually arrives afterward.

    After the conversation.

    After the presentation.

    After the difficult decision.

    .

    It strolls in late, carrying a coffee, and says,

    “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

    Oh, now you’re here.

    .

    Very helpful.

    .

    Thank you for your service.

    .

    So what’s the best way to build self-confidence?

    .

    I honestly don’t know.

    .

    However, I do know that life gets a little easier… when we stop treating every uncertain moment like the season finale of a drama series.

    .

    Most things don’t need perfect words.

    Most decisions don’t need perfect certainty.

    Most days don’t require us to be fearless.

    They just require us to show up.

    And maybe that’s enough.

    .

    Maybe confidence isn’t waking up one morning feeling invincible.

    .

    Maybe it’s laughing at your own overthinking, doing the thing anyway, and slowly realizing that reality is usually much kinder than the stories your imagination writes.

    .

    At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

    .

    Usually after I’ve spent three hours worrying about something that turned out to take three minutes. 😄

    .

    Doing the thing anyway,
    — Rajeshwari 🧿💕

  • Practice Makes Perfect? I Respectfully Disagree

    Practice Makes Perfect? I Respectfully Disagree

    They say,

    “Practice makes perfect.”

    .

    I would like to respectfully disagree.

    .

    Still Waiting for the User Manual😌

    I’ve been practicing adulthood
    for quite some time now,

    and I still occasionally walk into a room

    and forget why I went there.

    .

    Mirror vs Camera: An Ongoing Feud 😒

    I’ve practiced taking selfies.

    Hundreds of them.

    Yet somehow,

    the person in the mirror
    and the person in the photo

    continue to be complete strangers.

    .

    Love, Water, Sunlight… and Drama 🎭

    I’ve practiced gardening too.

    The internet says:

    “Give plants sunlight, water, and love.”

    I did.

    The plant responded by dying.

    Meanwhile,

    a neglected plant growing from a crack in the pavement

    is absolutely thriving.

    .

    Explain that.

    .

    One Eye Understands the Assignment🤯

    I’ve practiced drawing.

    Which mostly means

    spending hours creating something beautiful

    and then noticing one tiny mistake

    that suddenly becomes

    the only thing I can see.

    .

    A Pinch of Hope, A Dash of Panic 😱

    I’ve practiced cooking.

    And every time I make a recipe,

    there’s still a brief moment

    when I stare into the pan

    and hope for divine intervention.

    .

    The Perfect Reply Arrives Three Days Later 😪

    I’ve practiced conversations.

    Yet I still remember things

    I should have said

    three days ago.

    Usually while showering.

    When it is far too late.

    .

    The Password and I Are No Longer Speaking 🤭

    I’ve also practiced creating passwords.

    Strong passwords.

    Unique passwords.

    Passwords with capital letters,

    small letters,

    numbers,

    symbols,

    and what feels like

    a personal sacrifice to the technology gods.

    And yet,

    every login still begins with:

    “Incorrect password.”

    Followed by:

    “Forgot Password?”

    which feels less like a question

    and more like a judgment.

    .

    Practice makes perfect?

    Really?

    .

    Because from what I’ve observed,

    practice mostly makes us

    slightly less confused than before.

    And even that’s not guaranteed.

    .

    The funny thing is,

    the people I admire most

    aren’t perfect at all.

    They’re the ones who keep trying.

    The ones who laugh at their mistakes.

    The ones who accidentally send messages too early,

    water the wrong plant,

    burn the toast,

    miss the turn,

    make the typo,

    and somehow continue living

    as if the world hasn’t ended.

    Which, surprisingly,

    it hasn’t.

    .

    So perhaps the proverb needs an update.

    .

    Practice doesn’t make perfect.

    Practice makes stories.

    .

    It gives us the embarrassing moments,

    the unexpected detours,

    the inside jokes,

    the lessons,

    and occasionally,

    if we’re very lucky,

    a little wisdom.

    .

    Because perfection is impressive.

    But imperfection?

    Imperfection is relatable.

    It’s the selfie that took fifty tries.

    The recipe that looked nothing like the picture.

    The plant that survived purely out of stubbornness.

    The sketch with one slightly suspicious-looking hand.

    The password we reset yesterday

    and forgot today.

    And if we’re being honest,

    most of us don’t need another perfect person to admire.

    We just need proof

    that everyone else is making it up as they go along too.

    And after years of practice,

    that’s the one thing I’ve finally become good at:

    .

    Looking perfectly confident…

    while having absolutely no idea what I’m doing. 😄🌷✨

    .

    With love,

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • For Every Woman Who Forgot Her Spark✨

    For Every Woman Who Forgot Her Spark✨

    Don’t Lose the Spark✨

    Somewhere between growing up
    and holding everything together,
    many of us learned a strange lesson—

    How to be responsible,
    but not how to stay alive inside.

    We learned to answer messages,
    meet deadlines,
    pay bills,
    carry burdens.

    But slowly, without noticing,

    we stopped laughing so hard our stomach hurt.

    We stopped dancing in the kitchen.

    We stopped doing things simply because they made us happy.

    The world applauds the woman who sacrifices herself for everyone.

    Rarely does it applaud the woman who refuses to disappear.

    So this is your reminder:

    The spark was never childish.

    The spark was never foolish.

    The spark was you.

    It was the part of you that believed life was meant to be lived,
    not merely survived.

    The part that laughed too loudly,
    dreamed too boldly,
    loved too deeply.

    Please don’t trade her away
    for acceptance.

    Don’t bury her beneath expectations.

    And don’t confuse exhaustion with maturity.

    Because one day you’ll realize—

    The most beautiful thing about you was never your perfection.

    It was that wild, glowing, unapologetic light
    that made people feel warmer just by standing near you.

    So wear the bright lipstick.

    Take the silly photo.

    Laugh at your own joke.

    Start again.

    Be too much for people who prefer less.

    And if anyone tells you to dim your light,

    smile and let them wear sunglasses.

    The world doesn’t need another woman who fits in.
    It desperately needs the one who remembers who she is.
    ✨🖤

    With love,

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Everyone I Met Changed Me Somehow ✨

    Everyone I Met Changed Me Somehow ✨

    Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

    Honestly… at this point, my entire life feels like one long educational group project where everyone came to teach me something. 😭✨

    .

    Some people came like motivational speakers

    “Believe in yourself.”
    “Follow your dreams.”
    “Stay positive.”

    .

    And some came like unpaid life coaches disguised as red flags. 🚩😂

    .

    One taught me patience by replying after 3 business days.

    .

    One taught me self-respect by underestimating me.

    .

    One taught me boundaries by crossing every possible one.

    .

    One taught me trust…
    and then personally demonstrated why trust issues exist. 😭

    .

    But if I’m being real, every person left behind something valuable.

    .

    The kind ones reminded me that humanity is still soft somewhere beneath all the noise.

    .

    The difficult ones taught me strength I didn’t know I had.

    .

    The temporary ones taught me that not everyone is meant to stay forever… and that’s okay.

    .

    And the people who hurt me the most?
    Surprisingly, they pushed me closest to myself.

    .

    Because after every disappointment, every awkward ending, every silent goodbye…
    I met a newer version of me.
    A stronger one.
    A calmer one.
    A wiser one.

    .

    So when people ask,
    “Who had the biggest positive impact on your life?”

    .

    I genuinely cannot choose one person.

    .

    Some healed me with love.
    Some healed me with lessons.
    Both mattered.

    .

    And maybe that’s the beautiful thing about life
    not everyone enters our story to stay,
    some simply arrive to help us become who we were meant to be. 🌸✨

    .

    A dreamy sunset-themed featured image with glowing lights, a journal, and the title “Everyone I Met Changed Me Somehow” beside the name Nihshabd. ✨
    Some people became memories, some became lessons… all became a part of me. 🌸✨

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Lesson They Never Wrote on the Blackboard” ⭐

    Lesson They Never Wrote on the Blackboard” ⭐

    Describe something you learned in high school.

    What High School Really Taught Me

    High school didn’t just teach me subjects… it taught me how life quietly works behind the scenes.

    Like that one teacher who didn’t just “teach”—he performed.

    He would sing poems instead of reading them. And somehow, words that once felt heavy started dancing. I didn’t realize it then, but he wasn’t teaching poetry… he was teaching how to feel language.

    Then there was another lesson—simple, almost scary in its honesty:

    “Time is passing continuously, and your life is quietly reducing with each day.”

    At that age, it sounded dramatic. Now, it sounds like truth wrapped in a whisper.

    High school also taught me something unofficial—

    How we all pretend to have it together while secretly figuring things out.

    We learned formulas, yes.

    But we also learned:

    how to laugh during boring lectures, how to decode teachers’ moods faster than textbooks, how friendships can feel like forever… and sometimes end without warning, and how one kind word from a teacher can stay longer than an entire syllabus.

    If I had to sum it up—

    High school didn’t prepare me for exams.

    It prepared me for moments.

    And honestly…

    somewhere between unfinished homework and shared lunchboxes,

    we were unknowingly learning how to be human.

    .

    High school taught me more than just lessons from textbooks—it taught me how to find joy in little moments, laugh through chaos, and carry memories that stay long after the bell rings.
    Between books, bells, and memories… some lessons stay forever ✨

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Not Ego. Not Attitude. Just Tired…

    Not Ego. Not Attitude. Just Tired…

    What’s something most people don’t understand?

    What’s something most people don’t understand?

    .

    That not every distance is ego.

    Not every silence is attitude.

    .

    Sometimes, it’s just a person getting tired…

    tired of explaining,

    tired of repeating,

    tired of being the only one who cares a little too much.

    .

    Funny how people call it “attitude”

    when you finally stop over-explaining yourself.

    .

    Because apparently,

    being available all the time = “good nature”

    but choosing your peace = “changed person.”

    .

    Strange math, right?

    .

    Sometimes silence isn’t cold…

    it’s just calm after too much noise.

    .

    And distance?

    Not revenge. Not drama.

    Just a quiet way of saying—

    “I deserve better conversations than this.”

    .

    But most people won’t get it.

    Because understanding requires listening…

    and not everyone is there yet. 🤍

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • I Didn’t Know Saying Yes Could Cost Me This Much

    I Didn’t Know Saying Yes Could Cost Me This Much

    How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

    No one warned me that always saying ‘yes’ would slowly erase me.

    .

    I’ve always had a complicated relationship with the word “no.”

    Not because I didn’t understand it…

    but because I rarely used it.

    .

    It would sit quietly on my lips,

    while “yes” walked out… confidently, repeatedly, almost habitually.

    .

    And I told myself it was kindness.

    Which, to be fair, it was…

    just not always towards myself.

    .

    So I said yes

    to people, to plans, to moments that didn’t quite belong to me.

    And somewhere in all of that,

    my own time started slipping through the cracks… very politely.

    .

    The strange thing is

    nothing ever broke.

    Except a little bit of my energy,

    a little bit of my space,

    and sometimes… my mood, which deserved better 😄

    .

    I didn’t realise when “being nice” quietly turned into “being available.”

    (And no, there was no official announcement… just a very silent transition.)

    .

    But life, in its own subtle way, started nudging me.

    In those tiny pauses…

    where I began to wonder,

    “What if I don’t say yes this time?”

    .

    And recently… I tried it.

    A small, gentle, slightly nervous “no.”

    .

    No drama.

    No disappointment worth mentioning.

    Just… a little more room to breathe.

    .

    Almost magical, how one word can return you to yourself ✨

    .

    So maybe this is a reminder

    especially for every girl who has ever felt guilty for choosing herself

    you don’t have to earn your rest, your space, or your boundaries.

    You’re allowed to keep some parts of your day… just for you 💛

    .

    And as for me…

    let’s just say, somewhere between habit and healing,

    a new version is quietly making its way

    No 2.0… still gentle, still kind, just a little less “yes” by default 😉

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Life Didn’t Give Me One Teacher… It Gave Me a Full Faculty

    Life Didn’t Give Me One Teacher… It Gave Me a Full Faculty

    Who was your most influential teacher? Why?

    Who was my most influential teacher?


    I wish I had a simple, respectable answer.
    Like a name. A subject. Maybe a life-changing lecture.

    But no.

    My life clearly didn’t believe in “one teacher theory.”
    It went for a full faculty.

    My two sons?
    Oh, they are my senior professors —
    unpaid, unpredictable, and permanently unsatisfied with my performance.

    One teaches me patience.
    The other makes sure I practice it. Daily. Intensively.

    And then there are others…

    Some people came into my life just to test my emotional stability —
    and left after completing their assignment.

    Some taught me practical things…
    like where files are saved.
    (Let’s just say… that lesson had to be repeated. Multiple times.)

    Some introduced me to recipes,
    and some to reality checks.

    A few taught me how not to overreact —
    which, honestly, felt like a very personal attack at the time.

    Someone taught me to laugh loudly,
    without worrying about who’s watching.

    And someone else had the audacity to prove
    that it’s never “too late” to start again —
    which is inspiring… but also mildly inconvenient.

    Some held my hand when I needed support.
    And some didn’t —
    which, in hindsight, was their way of saying,
    “Welcome to the advanced level. Figure it out.”

    From embroidery threads to iPad tools,
    from breakdowns to breakthroughs —
    my education has been… extremely hands-on.

    So no, I don’t have one “most influential teacher.”

    I have a whole syllabus.
    A slightly chaotic, emotionally charged, occasionally uninvited syllabus.

    And life?
    It didn’t ask me to enroll.

    It just started the class.

    —Rajeshwari🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved