NihshabdBlog

Tag: Nihshabd journal

  • It Was Never About the Place

    It Was Never About the Place

    What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?

    Honestly… every holiday magically becomes my favorite

    .


    when I’m with my favorite people.
    (Yes, even the ones where half the time goes in “kya khayenge?” discussions 😄)

    .

    Places?
    They’re just… places.

    .

    It’s the people who turn
    “just a trip” into
    “yaar, remember that moment?” forever.

    .

    But okay, if I have to choose—
    our Dubai vacation wins.

    .

    At LEGOLAND Dubai and the DreamWorks Animation Zone,
    something unexpected happened…

    .

    I didn’t just enjoy the rides—
    I forgot I was supposed to be “the responsible adult.” 😌

    .

    I’ve always loved rides,
    but this time?
    I went all in.

    .

    Screaming louder than my kids,
    getting more excited than them,
    and pretending I wasn’t scared
    (while internally questioning all my life choices mid-ride).

    .

    Somewhere between the laughter, the chaos,
    and the “one more ride please!”
    I wasn’t just a mother anymore…

    .

    I was a child again.
    A slightly dramatic one, but still.

    .

    And maybe…
    that’s exactly why it felt so special.

    .

    Because I was surrounded by people
    who didn’t remind me to “grow up,”
    but quietly allowed me to let go.

    .

    And that’s when it hit me—

    .

    Because in the end,
    it was never about the place…
    it was about who I became when I was with them.

    .

    A little more free,
    a little more alive,
    and completely myself… without holding back.

    .

    The kind of happiness
    that doesn’t need permission,
    and the kind of moments
    you wish you could pause… just for a little longer.

    .

    Maybe that’s why
    some memories never really leave…
    because they don’t just stay in our mind,
    they quietly become a part of who we are.

    .

    A joyful moment at a Dubai theme park, capturing carefree laughter, childhood nostalgia, and togetherness.
    Not the place… just the people who made it feel like home. 💛

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • I’m Not Lazy, I’m Deadline-Dependent

    I’m Not Lazy, I’m Deadline-Dependent

    When do you feel most productive?

    When it’s almost too late to be productive.

    .

    Not 1 hour before.
    Not even 30 minutes.

    .

    More like… 12 minutes before the deadline.

    .

    That’s when my brain suddenly unlocks premium features.

    .

    Focus? Activated.
    Speed? Unmatched.
    Distractions? Disappear like they were never there.

    .

    No overthinking.
    No procrastination.
    No “let me get in the mood.”

    .

    Just pure survival mode.

    .

    The same task I’ve been “about to start” for 2 days?
    Done. Submitted. Sometimes even suspiciously good.

    .

    And the funny part?

    .

    When I do have time
    I become extremely productive… at everything except the actual work.

    .

    I’ll organize things.
    Clean something that didn’t need cleaning.
    Check my phone “for 2 minutes.”
    Mentally prepare like I’m about to change my life.

    .

    But the task?
    Still waiting. Still untouched.

    .

    Because apparently, my brain doesn’t respond to free time.
    It responds to panic with consequences.

    .

    Give me a whole day I’ll waste it professionally.
    Give me 20 minutes I’ll deliver results that surprise even me.

    .

    So yeah…

    .

    I’m not inconsistent.
    I’m not lazy.

    .

    I’m just… performance-based.

    .

    And my system only works when there’s
    a little chaos, a lot of pressure, and absolutely no time left. 🤡✨

    .

    A cozy, cluttered desk scene with a girl working on a laptop under pressure, surrounded by sticky notes, coffee mugs, and a bold text: “I’m Not Lazy, I’m Deadline-Dependent.
    Powered by panic and last-minute brilliance. 🤡✨

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rightsb Reserved

  • My Emoji Personality: Cute, Chaotic, and Slightly Concerning 😄🤡

    My Emoji Personality: Cute, Chaotic, and Slightly Concerning 😄🤡

    What are your favorite emojis?

    Oh, I don’t choose emojis… emojis choose me.

    Like 😄 my public personality.
    Sweet, sorted, “everything is fine.” (Everything is not fine.)

    Then there’s 🙃 — for when life flips me but I pretend it’s a personality trait.

    😂 — reserved for things that are not that funny but socially require laughter.

    🤡 — exclusively for myself. Premium membership. No cancellation.

    ✨ — added randomly to make chaos look aesthetic.

    😌 — used after doing absolutely nothing, but feeling like I deserve peace.

    And of course…
    👀 — for silent judgment, curiosity, and accidental stalking.

    Basically, my emoji usage is less “expression” and more “emotional survival toolkit.”

    What about you? Be honest… are you a 🙂 person or a 😭 person?

    .

    Colorful emoji-themed graphic with playful text “My Emoji Personality: Cute, Chaotic, and Slightly Concerning” and Nihshabd.
    Cute outside, chaotic inside 😄🤡✨

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rightsb Reserved

  • Your Report Is Normal. You’re Not.

    Your Report Is Normal. You’re Not.

    Report Pending

    Not every test needs to be about blood levels,
    sometimes… you should run a scan on your heart too.

    .

    Maybe it’s not your hemoglobin that’s low
    maybe your patience ran out somewhere between
    “it’s okay” and “I’m tired.”

    .

    Maybe it’s not a vitamin deficiency,
    maybe you just haven’t felt
    a little genuine warmth in a while.

    .

    Calcium seems fine, sure
    but your backbone?
    slightly bent… from always adjusting for others.

    .

    And this “I’m fine” report
    you keep handing out like free samples
    have you ever actually verified it
    with yourself?

    .

    Because the real deficiencies
    don’t show up in lab results.

    .

    They show up in late replies,
    in cancelling plans you once looked forward to,
    in saying “it’s nothing”
    when it clearly… isn’t.

    .

    But hey,don’t panic.
    This is pretty standard these days.
    A little broken, a little tired,
    a little too good at pretending
    welcome to the package deal 😄

    .

    Just… once in a while,
    put yourself back on your own priority list.

    .

    Before one day the report reads:
    Personality: Low
    Care for self: Critically low

    .

    Prescription:
    Take a break.
    And maybe… take yourself seriously for once.

    .

    A moody, sepia-toned illustration of a person sitting alone overlooking a city at sunset, with a medical report marked “normal” and handwritten notes reflecting hidden emotional struggles.
    Everything looks fine… until you look a little deeper.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • From ‘Hi’ to Existential Crisis

    From ‘Hi’ to Existential Crisis

    What topics do you like to discuss?

    I like conversations that don’t feel like conversations.

    .

    The kind that start with something random
    and somehow end up questioning life choices, childhood memories,
    or why we overthink texts that just say “hmm.”

    .

    I like talking about silence too
    not the awkward kind,
    but the one that says more than words ever could.

    .

    I enjoy topics that don’t need conclusions.
    Dreams that haven’t made sense yet,
    people we almost became,
    and feelings we don’t have proper vocabulary for.

    .

    Also…
    a little sarcasm, a little humor,
    because if we’re not laughing at life,
    what exactly are we doing

    .

    So yeah,
    anything real, anything unfiltered
    those are my favorite topics.

    .

    A girl sitting by a window with coffee, reflecting as the text “From ‘Hi’ to Existential Crisis” appears.
    Some conversations don’t end… they stay with you. ☕✨

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • The Risk of Letting Go Quietly

    The Risk of Letting Go Quietly

    When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?

    When was the last time I took a risk?

    Not the kind people clap for.

    No big announcement.
    No dramatic “leap of faith.”
    No story worth turning into motivation reels.

    I just… stopped.

    Stopped explaining myself.
    Stopped trying to be understood by people who had already decided not to.
    Stopped fixing things that weren’t even mine to fix.

    And honestly?
    That felt riskier than anything else.

    Because when you don’t chase,
    you don’t control the outcome.
    You just… watch.

    Watch who stays.
    Watch who leaves.
    Watch what falls apart without your effort.

    It’s uncomfortable.
    It’s quiet.
    It messes with your head a little.

    But somewhere in that silence,
    you realize—

    Not everything needs your involvement.
    Not everything deserves your energy.

    Did it work out?

    Well…
    I didn’t get answers.

    I got something better—
    distance from things that were never right for me.

    And maybe,
    that’s how some risks pay off.

    Not every risk is loud. Sometimes it’s choosing silence over explanation, stepping back instead of chasing, and letting things unfold without your control. And in that quiet, you don’t find answers—you find distance from what was never meant for you.

    A girl sitting by the water at sunset with the text “When was the last time I took a risk?” and “Nihshabd”.
    Some risks are taken in silence. 

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • The Risk No One Claps For

    The Risk No One Claps For

    Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

    I once took a very dangerous risk.

    .

    No, not skydiving.
    Not quitting a job dramatically.
    Not even cutting my own bangs at 2 AM (which, honestly, is the real danger😅).

    .

    I chose myself… in a situation where it would’ve been easier to stay quiet.

    .

    You know that moment… when you rehearse a hundred responses in your head🤯,
    but in real life, you just smile and let it go🙂?

    .

    Yeah. That time—I didn’t.

    .

    I spoke. Calmly. Clearly. Without over-explaining😌.
    (Okay fine… maybe slightly over-explaining. Growth takes time.)

    .

    And I remember my heart racing like I had just run a marathon💓…
    while the other person just said, “Oh… okay.”

    .

    That’s it.
    No explosion💥. No drama🎭. No background music🎶.

    .

    And I stood there thinking
    “Wait… THAT was the thing I was scared of?”

    .

    Funny how the risks we avoid aren’t always big, loud ones.
    Sometimes, it’s just saying what we feel…
    setting a boundary🚧…
    or choosing not to shrink ourselves to fit someone else’s comfort.

    .

    Was it uncomfortable? Yes.
    Did I overthink it later? Also yes😅.
    Would I do it again? 100%.

    .

    Because for the first time, I didn’t walk away thinking
    “I should have said something.”

    .

    And honestly… that peace?🕊️
    Worth the risk.

    .

    But here’s what I didn’t expect
    not every situation deserves a response.

    .

    Silence carries a different kind of power🤫.
    The kind that doesn’t argue, doesn’t chase, doesn’t perform just to be understood.

    .

    Being loud might win you a moment…
    but silence? It protects your peace and your pride—quietly, but completely.

    .

    And once you step into it,
    it doesn’t just feel good… it stays.

    .

    You get used to not reacting.
    You get used to letting things pass without making them your responsibility.
    You get used to not explaining yourself to people committed to misunderstanding you.

    .

    And slowly… it becomes a habit you don’t want to break.

    .

    (Warning: highly addictive⚠️. Side effects include emotional stability and fewer unnecessary arguments.)

    .

    And then comes the part no one really enjoys admitting—
    what isn’t meant for you… simply doesn’t stay.

    .

    No matter how gently you handle it,
    how long you hold on,
    or how many chances you give like it’s some kind of clearance sale🛍️.

    .

    Some people? Not yours.
    Some things? Not yours.

    .

    And for once, instead of overthinking it, fixing it, or forcing it…
    you just lean back and think

    .

    “Ah. Not my circus, not my monkeys.”🎪

    .

    .

    A woman sitting quietly by the water at dusk, reflecting in silence.
    Some risks are quiet… but they change everything.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Where “Later” Quietly Cost Me

    Where “Later” Quietly Cost Me

    Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

    The Time I Chose “Later.”

    .

    It’s strange how most regrets don’t come from what we did
    but from what we kept postponing… very politely.

    .

    In love,
    I didn’t say it when it was still soft and simple.
    I waited—for the “right moment,” the perfect clarity,
    some cinematic certainty.

    .

    By the time I was ready,
    the moment had already moved on…
    like a train that doesn’t announce its last call.

    .

    Turns out, love doesn’t always need perfect timing
    just a little courage before overthinking takes over.

    .

    In education,
    I didn’t ask that one “stupid” question.
    You know the one—sitting at the edge of your tongue,
    but held back because “what will people think?”

    .

    Everyone else nodded. I nodded too.
    Understanding… optional.

    .

    Years later, I realised
    confusion doesn’t disappear when you hide it.
    It just becomes more expensive.

    .

    In health,
    I ignored the small signs.
    The fatigue, the “it’s probably nothing,”
    the habit of choosing convenience over care.

    .

    Nothing serious happened.
    But something subtle did
    I got used to neglecting myself… gently, consistently.

    .

    And that’s the kind of damage that doesn’t make noise.

    .

    In career,
    I didn’t take the chance.
    Not because I couldn’t
    but because I wanted guarantees.

    .

    I told myself, “I’ll try when I’m more ready.”
    But readiness is a moving target…
    it keeps shifting just enough to keep you still.

    .

    And the funny part?

    .

    None of these were big, dramatic failures.
    No disasters. No headlines.

    .

    Just small moments where I chose “later”
    over “maybe now.”

    .

    If I could do it differently,
    I wouldn’t try to control everything.

    .

    I’d speak a little sooner.
    Ask a little more.
    Listen to my body before it whispers louder.
    And take chances before they turn into “what ifs.”

    I

    Because life rarely collapses in one big moment.

    .

    It quietly changes direction
    in all the times we say

    .

    “Not now… maybe later.”

    .

    We spend so much of life waiting to be ready
    for the right time, the right words, the right version of ourselves.

    .

    But life doesn’t wait for perfect.

    .

    So the next time something in you says “maybe now”…
    don’t silence it with “later.”

    .

    Because sometimes,
    that quiet nudge is the moment itself.

    .

    A minimalist sunset scene with a person sitting by a lakeside, a notebook and pen on a wooden table, featuring the text “The Time I Chose ‘Later.’” and the name Nihshabd.
    The quiet cost of choosing “later.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Be Loyal to Yourself (Soft, Not Easy)

    Be Loyal to Yourself (Soft, Not Easy)

    Not the soft, aesthetic, “love yourself” version…
    and not the cold, unbothered “I don’t care” version either.

    .

    Somewhere in between
    where you’re still kind…
    but no longer easy to take for granted.

    .

    Be loyal to yourself when
    you don’t feel like replying and you actually don’t.
    when “no” doesn’t come with a long explanation.
    when your peace matters more than being liked.

    .

    Because truth is
    you were never “too much.”

    .

    You were just too real
    for people who were comfortable with half-effort,
    half-love,
    half-respect.

    .

    And now that you’re asking for more?
    suddenly you’re “changed.”

    .

    Funny.

    .

    Be soft but not spineless.
    Be kind but not convenient.
    Be understanding but not endlessly available.

    .

    That’s your magic.
    That quiet glow… the butterfly energy…
    soft to touch, impossible to hold 🦋✨

    .

    And here’s the thing
    the moment you stop over-explaining yourself,
    people either step up…
    or step away.

    .

    Either way,
    your life gets lighter.

    .

    Stay loyal to the woman
    who finally chose herself—
    without guilt, without drama, without permission.

    .

    The rest?
    They’ll adjust 😉

    .

    A cozy, golden-hour aesthetic featuring a woman sitting by the window in soft light, surrounded by warm tones, a candle, flowers, and a notebook, with the quote “Be loyal to yourself” and gentle reminders about boundaries, self-worth, and inner peace.
    Soft… but not easy 🦋✨

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • I’m Quiet… But I Hold the Room

    I’m Quiet… But I Hold the Room

    What makes you nervous?

    Oh… before we begin
    I’m not just an introvert.
    I’m a premium, deluxe, extra-large introvert. 😄

    .

    So honestly?
    Almost everything comes with a side of nervousness.

    .

    I’m that person who hears the doorbell and instantly freezes
    “Don’t move. Don’t breathe. Maybe they’ll just… give up.”
    (They don’t. And now I have trust issues.)🫣

    .

    Unknown number calling?
    Absolutely not.
    If it’s important, they’ll text.
    If they don’t… then clearly it wasn’t meant for me 😌

    .

    When my phone lights up out of nowhere
    my heart reacts like I just got caught doing something illegal.
    I stare at the screen, overanalyze the name, the timing, the vibe…
    and suddenly I’m not available.
    Not physically, not emotionally, not spiritually.

    .

    Social situations?
    Oh I go. I even look normal.
    But internally
    I’m calculating how long I’ve survived
    and where the nearest escape route is. 🏃‍♀️

    .

    And honestly…
    before meeting anyone,
    I almost never feel like going.

    .

    It’s always
    “Maybe I’ll cancel…”
    “Maybe next time…”

    .

    But then I go…
    and somehow,
    once I’m there

    I don’t feel like leaving.

    .

    Funny, right?

    .

    I’ve tried changing this about myself…
    so many times.
    Tried being more “easy,” more spontaneous…

    .

    but I couldn’t.

    .

    And maybe that’s okay.

    .

    Because somewhere along the way,
    I learned something else instead

    .

    how to quiet the storm inside me.

    .

    It still gets loud.
    It still takes time…

    .

    but I know how to hold it now.

    .

    And just when I think I’ve handled it all

    .

    comes the most dangerous sentence
    “Can we talk?”
    About WHAT??
    Why is it always so suspenseful??
    Just say it directly…
    don’t make me imagine 25 worst-case scenarios
    and mentally apologize for things I haven’t even done yet 😭

    .

    And yet…
    when I’m actually there

    .

    something shifts.

    .

    I listen a little more.
    I smile a little softer.
    I notice things people don’t say out loud.

    .

    And somehow…
    people open up.
    They feel heard.
    They stay.

    .

    No one really sees
    how loud it is inside my head
    because I’ve learned to turn that noise
    into calm for others.

    .

    So maybe…
    I’m not the loudest person in the room

    .

    but if you look closely,
    I’m the one quietly making it feel warmer…

    without anyone really noticing why.

    .

    .

    A softly lit scene of a woman sitting quietly in a warm, cozy gathering, observing others while holding a calm presence; text reads “I’m Quiet… But I Hold the Room – Nihshabd.”
    Quiet doesn’t mean unnoticed… sometimes it means deeply felt. ✨

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved