Category: Personal reflection

I’m Quiet… But I Hold the Room

What makes you nervous?

Oh… before we begin
I’m not just an introvert.
I’m a premium, deluxe, extra-large introvert. 😄

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So honestly?
Almost everything comes with a side of nervousness.

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I’m that person who hears the doorbell and instantly freezes
“Don’t move. Don’t breathe. Maybe they’ll just… give up.”
(They don’t. And now I have trust issues.)🫣

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Unknown number calling?
Absolutely not.
If it’s important, they’ll text.
If they don’t… then clearly it wasn’t meant for me 😌

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When my phone lights up out of nowhere
my heart reacts like I just got caught doing something illegal.
I stare at the screen, overanalyze the name, the timing, the vibe…
and suddenly I’m not available.
Not physically, not emotionally, not spiritually.

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Social situations?
Oh I go. I even look normal.
But internally
I’m calculating how long I’ve survived
and where the nearest escape route is. 🏃‍♀️

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And honestly…
before meeting anyone,
I almost never feel like going.

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It’s always
“Maybe I’ll cancel…”
“Maybe next time…”

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But then I go…
and somehow,
once I’m there

I don’t feel like leaving.

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Funny, right?

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I’ve tried changing this about myself…
so many times.
Tried being more “easy,” more spontaneous…

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but I couldn’t.

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And maybe that’s okay.

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Because somewhere along the way,
I learned something else instead

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how to quiet the storm inside me.

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It still gets loud.
It still takes time…

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but I know how to hold it now.

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And just when I think I’ve handled it all

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comes the most dangerous sentence
“Can we talk?”
About WHAT??
Why is it always so suspenseful??
Just say it directly…
don’t make me imagine 25 worst-case scenarios
and mentally apologize for things I haven’t even done yet 😭

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And yet…
when I’m actually there

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something shifts.

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I listen a little more.
I smile a little softer.
I notice things people don’t say out loud.

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And somehow…
people open up.
They feel heard.
They stay.

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No one really sees
how loud it is inside my head
because I’ve learned to turn that noise
into calm for others.

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So maybe…
I’m not the loudest person in the room

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but if you look closely,
I’m the one quietly making it feel warmer…

without anyone really noticing why.

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Quiet doesn’t mean unnoticed… sometimes it means deeply felt. ✨

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—Rajeshwari 🧿💕

© Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

April 22, 2026
Dear Teenage Me

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

Advice I’d Give My Teenage Self (From the Girl Who Thought She Already Knew Everything)

(A Nihshabd Blog)

Dear Younger Me,

Yes, you — the confident, dramatic, hyper-independent teenager who believed she had life all figured out. The one who acted like Google, therapist, astrologer, and philosopher all at once.

Sit down. Future-you has a few things to say.

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1. Please stop trusting people like they’re walking TED Talks

Not everyone deserves your truth, your softness, your VIP all-access pass.

Observe first.

Then trust.

And always remember this golden rule:

Your intuition is the Wi-Fi — if the signal feels weak, don’t connect.

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2. What people think about you is none of your business

Seriously.

People only notice you for two minutes; the rest of the time they’re busy overthinking their own life.

So stop adjusting yourself like a radio antenna trying to get everyone’s approval.

Be you — loudly, boldly, unapologetically.

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3. Expectations? Keep them light. Like popcorn.

Expect too much and you’ll feel drained.

Expect too little and you’ll feel lonely.

Expect just enough and you’ll feel peaceful.

Balance is everything.

Not everyone will show up for you the way you show up for them — and that’s okay.

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4. Your feelings are valid. Period.

You feel deeply — and that’s not a flaw.

It’s a strength.

You’re emotional, expressive, and dramatic in the most adorable way.

Never stop being that girl who feels things fully.

Just learn who deserves access to those feelings.

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5. Relationships aren’t a syllabus to master

They don’t come with rules, formulas, or perfect strategies.

Choose people who respect your space, honour your voice, and understand your silence.

Choose people who don’t make you shrink to fit in.

And above all — choose you every single time.

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6. Self-love isn’t about spa days — it’s about boundaries

Say “no” without giving a PowerPoint explanation.

Rest without guilt.

Walk away from nonsense.

Protect your peace like it’s your password.

Your future self will thank you for every boundary you set.

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7. Dance. Always.

Dance when you’re excited.

Dance when you’re confused.

Dance when you have no idea what you’re doing.

Because nothing grounds you like movement.

Your body remembers joy even when your mind forgets.

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8. Success is not a race — it’s a rhythm

Your career will grow with your confidence.

Your dreams will expand with your courage.

Stop comparing your timeline to anyone else’s.

Your path is yours — beautifully, chaotically, uniquely yours.

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9. Yes, you think you know everything

And honestly, that confidence is iconic.

But life is funnier, smarter, and more unpredictable than you expect.

Let it surprise you.

Let it teach you.

Let it shift you into someone stronger and softer at the same time.

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The Big Advice:

Choose yourself, without guilt.

Choose the life that excites you.

Choose the work that energises you.

Choose the people who value you.

Choose growth, even when it feels uncomfortable.

And please — trust your own voice more than the noise around you.

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A Final Thank You

To my teenage self:

Thank you.

For believing in magic,

for dreaming without limits,

for trying fearlessly,

for laughing loudly,

for being bold enough to imagine a future no one else could see.

Aaj jo main hu…

it is because of you.

Your courage.

Your clarity.

Your wildness.

Your stubborn belief in yourself.

I’m proud of you — endlessly.

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—Rajeshwari 🧿💕

(Poem ©Rajeshwari.

Unauthorized copying, reposting, or use of this content is not allowed.)

February 23, 2026
“Currently Loading… Please Do Not Disturb.” 🔄

If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?

**If There Were a Biography About Me, It Would Be Titled:**

“Currently Loading… Please Do Not Disturb.” 🔄

Because I am not a finished personality.

I am an update in progress. 📶

This biography will not follow a timeline.

It will follow mood swings. 🌪️

Some pages will smell like filter coffee. ☕

Some like burnt tadka. 🔥

Some like ambition. 🚀

Some like “why did I say that?” 😶

I am the kind of person who:

• Wants peace ✨

• Chooses chaos 🤦🏻‍♀️

• Complains softly 🤍

• Handles loudly 💪

• Says “leave it” 😌

• And never leaves it 👀

Consistency? Questionable.

Commitment? Unmatched. 😎

My biography would include footnotes like:

1️⃣ She overthinks, but efficiently.

2️⃣ She loves hard, but pretends she doesn’t.

3️⃣ She says “I don’t care,” but remembers everything. 🧠

There will be a section titled:

“Why Am I Like This?” 🤷🏻‍♀️

No answers.

Just vibes. ✨

I am not mysterious.

I am just running multiple tabs in my brain. 🖥️

And one of them is always playing background music. 🎶

This is not a story of struggle.

This is a story of range. 🎨

Happy. 😄

Annoyed. 😑

Calm. 🧘🏻‍♀️

Sarcastic. 😉

Philosophical at 2 PM. 📖

Hungry at 2:05 PM. 🍽️

The last line?

“She wasn’t dramatic.

She was detailed.” ✍️

—Rajeshwari 🧿💕

February 14, 2026
My Dream Home (With My Feel, My Chaos, My Magic)

Write about your dream home.

A tiny house, hugging the earth, not trying to impress anyone

just quietly saying, “Here I am. This is me.”

In front, a garden. My garden.

A tree with a swing. Sit, sway, swishhh…

and suddenly, all tension? Gone. Just like that. Magic, right?

Kids’ laughter everywhere. Random giggles, shrieks, little explosions of happiness.

Birds gossip in the trees like they know all my secrets.

Flowers perfume the air so strongly, I sometimes forget to breathe.

Bees? Drama queens with tiny wings, buzzing like, “Yes, yes, we are busy, don’t bother us!”

And the breeze… oh, that cheeky breeze… it plays with my hair,

reminding me, “You belong here. Don’t forget it.”

Evenings are chaos with Kiwi.

She jumps, runs, zooms like the garden is her racetrack,

while I dig in the soil planting vegetables, flowers, maybe my sanity somewhere too.

Time? Who cares. Lost among petals, dirt, and laughter.

My house… it’s heaven.

Every corner has a story, a hug, a little secret.

Guests feel at home… but secretly,

I know, my mark is everywhere. My laughter, my chaos, my stories.

There’s a secret nook where the sky leans in.

We lie there, staring at stars, making constellations only we understand.

Hours vanish, reality pauses, and my heart whispers:

“This is exactly where we belong.”

Another corner my arts and crafts kingdom.

Tiny worlds of color, glitter, and chaos, all mine.

Step in, and the world fades. Creativity takes over.

Another nook music. My soundtrack, my secret spells,

turning ordinary nights into magic, turning strangers’ dreams into friends.

There’s a staircase that climbs up success steps, dream steps, maybe just look-at-how-high-I-can-go steps.

And a tiny temple for me. Where I melt into Krishna’s presence,

and the world can wait. Seriously, let it wait.

Every corner bursts with joy, a sprinkle of mischief, a pinch of sarcasm, and tons of love.

Blessings of elders, kids’ chaos, Kiwi’s energy full combo pack.

And me? I sit, laugh, plant, dream, sing, play, and leave tiny footprints of magic everywhere.

This is my home, my little heaven, my chaos, my music, my smell, my heartbeat.

A place where laughter sticks, dreams float,

and anyone who walks in… leaves smiling, thinking:

“Wow… maybe such a home really exists.”

—Rajeshwari 🧿💕

February 11, 2026
✨ When Great News Arrives Wearing Fairy Wings ✨

You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?

The moment I get great news

not gently,

not politely,

just BOOM💥

straight from the universe

like a shooting star💫

that forgot to reduce speed…

I freeze.

Because joy always arrives

like it’s running late

for its own surprise party.🎉

For a second,

everything goes still

even the wind pauses,

as if it wants front-row seats.

Then suddenly

butterflies🦋 appear out of thin air,

spinning around me

like tiny, glittery cheerleaders

who have been waiting

for this exact plot twist.

The sun☀️ tilts a little,

giving me its golden nod of approval.

Clouds ☁️ drift apart

as if the sky wants

a better view of my happiness.

And the moment feels so magical

that even reality seems confused.

My first reaction?

I try to act normal.

A hopeless attempt, honestly.

Because inside me,

my inner drama queen👸

is already doing cartwheels,🤸‍♀️

screaming,😱

Meanwhile,

my over-smart inner voice

adjusts its imaginary sunglasses😎 and mutters,

“Great. Don’t faint.

We don’t have a spare version of you.”

And somehow,

“Yesss, finally!”

right between laughing😆

and almost tearing up,🥹

my heart♥️ whispers

a tiny trembling “thank you”

to something bigger than me

the sky,

luck,

destiny,

or maybe

my own stubborn hope.

But great news is never mine alone.

It travels

straight to the people

whose joy rises and falls with mine.

My little “gear wall” of humans

the ones who cheer loudest,

who keep my courage oiled,

who celebrate my wins

as if someone handed them the trophy🏆 .

Family, friends, my constants

their happiness echoes

before mine even settles.

Then comes that electric⚡️ moment

when the news finally sinks in,

and my whole world

does a soft, silent fireworks🧨 explosion.

A deep breath escapes

the kind that feels like

opening a window in your soul.

And suddenly,

every little thing

the light, the breeze, the sky

seems to celebrate with me.

So what do I do

when I get great news?

I let myself smile😊.

The honest, embarrassing,

can’t-hide-it kind.

The smile that starts small

and then spreads

like a butterfly🦋 discovering its wings🪽

Because good news 🗞️

doesn’t just arrive

it blooms.

Inside the chest.

Across the face.

All over the moment.

And somewhere far beyond that

in the hearts💕 of the people

who love me.

And I stand there, glowing,

whispering to life,

“If this is how magic feels…

send more.”

—Rajeshwari💕🧿

February 10, 2026
Something on my “to-do list” that never gets done: Clean the closet

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

“Some promises don’t need reminders.
They live quietly in the closet.”

The closet waits. Silent, judging, full of secrets.

Socks lost in mysterious disappearances, shoes plotting rebellions,

T-shirts from “a newer me” whispering, remember me?

I open the door with courage…

And immediately regret it.

Inside, my eyes fall on bundles of sarees.

Colors stacked like temptation, prints too beautiful to ignore.

For a brief, dangerous moment, I’m convinced

I’ll wear a saree every day.

Suits stand ready, dupattas look agreeable,

as if routine can suddenly learn grace.

Because cleaning isn’t moving clothes it’s time traveling.

This scarf reminds me of laughter I forgot.

These heels? Of dreams I abandoned politely.

And that pile of “I’ll wear it someday”?

Older than my resolutions, wiser than me.

I sort, fold, procrastinate, reminisce…

Three hours later: nothing done.

The closet stands undefeated.

I close the door. It sighs. I sigh.

Tomorrow, we’ll dance this dance again

Me, the guilty human.

The closet, eternal.

—Rajeshwari 💕

February 3, 2026
What Do I Complain About the Most?

What do you complain about the most?

“Me vs. my expectations… guess who wins every time?”

What Do I Complain About the Most?

I complain.
A lot.
About everything.
Sometimes even about things
I secretly enjoy complaining about.

I complain about life
because it doesn’t follow my plans,
my timelines,
or my very detailed imaginary scripts.

I complain about people
when they talk too much,
when they talk too little,
and especially
when they don’t read my mind
after knowing me for years.

I complain about love
when it’s late,
when it’s confusing,
and even when it’s peaceful
because peace, honestly,
feels suspicious.

I complain about small things
“Why didn’t they reply?”
“Why did they reply like that?”
“Why did they forget?”
And sometimes
“Why do I remember everything?”

Funny thing is
most people I complain about
are already doing their best.
But their best comes
in a language
my expectations refuse to learn.

So I call it less.
Life calls it different.

I say,
“You didn’t do enough,”
when what I really mean is,
“You didn’t do it the way
I wanted…
and on time…
and with a little magic.”

And let’s be honest
even if life gave me everything,
I’d still complain about
the delivery system.

But somewhere between
all this complaining,
I laugh.
I realise.
I soften.

Because most complaints
are not anger
they’re love without instructions.

They’re expectations
wearing humour,
frustration,
and a little drama.

So yes
I complain about almost everything.

But if I look closely,
behind every complaint
is someone I care about,
something I value,
or a life I’m still deeply involved in.

And maybe…
complaining is just proof
that I haven’t checked out yet.

That I’m still here.
Feeling.
Living.
Trying.

And honestly?
That’s not such a bad thing. 🙂

—Rajeshwari 💕

January 30, 2026
Kiwi, My Little Magic…

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

If I could make my pet understand one thing…

“Our first hello 🤍”

Before that, let me tell you who Kiwi is.

Kiwi is a Shih Tzu 🐶

small in size, but carrying a whole universe of attitude.

Tiny paws, big expressive eyes, and endless nakhre.

She walks like she owns the house,

looks at you like she knows your secrets,

and demands love as if it’s her birthright.

“What’s yours is mine 🐾💻”

Kiwi is the apple of everyone’s eye.

The one people pause for, smile at, talk to in baby voices.

But what they don’t see is how deeply Kiwi loves back.

Her love is quiet and loud at the same time.

The way Kiwi waits.

The way she follows.

The way she checks on everyone

as if saying, “You okay? I’m here.”

She gives affection without asking for reasons.

Concern without words.

And her naughtiness?

Oh, that’s just Kiwi’s way of reminding us

that joy doesn’t need permission.

And somewhere between her tiny paws and big eyes,

life changed.

After Kiwi came into our lives,

things felt… different.

Lighter. Warmer. More alive.

Our routines shifted.

Our hearts softened.

We started noticing small joys again

morning cuddles, little walks, silly moments,

love without conditions.

I don’t know what kind of magic she brought with her,

I can’t explain how it happened

but something did change.

And it changed us for the better.

After every hairstyle, Kiwi pauses…looks down and asks, “How do I look now?” 🐾🤍

And if I could make Kiwi understand one thing,

just one…

I would tell her this:

That I love you, Kiwi

not just today, not just when you’re cute or calm,

but always.

That I will never leave you.

Never abandon you.

Never choose a world where you don’t belong with me.

No matter how life changes,

how days turn heavy or light,

you have a forever place

in my arms, in my home, in my heart.

Because you’re not just a pet, Kiwi.

You are comfort.

You are family.

You are love with fur, attitude…

and a little bit of magic.

And that love?

It’s permanent. 🤍🐾

“Eyes on me, please 🐶🐾”

“Some love doesn’t just enter your life — it changes it forever.”🐶🐾♥️

—Rajeshwari 💕

January 22, 2026
I Never Had One Thing to Hold Onto — And That Shaped Me

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?

There is a question people often ask with nostalgia in their voice:

“Was there something you were deeply attached to as a child?”

A toy.

A book.

A blanket.

Something that carried comfort.

I wish I had an answer that fits neatly into that memory box.

But I don’t.

Growing up, I didn’t have that one thing the kind you protect, hide, or cry over when it’s lost. Not because I didn’t want it, but because life didn’t really allow attachments to settle.

Things came and went.

Spaces changed.

Responsibilities arrived early.

So instead of attaching myself to objects, I learned something else.

I learned to let go.

As a child, I watched items age, break, disappear, sometimes without warning, sometimes without explanation. There was no ceremony, no goodbye. Just acceptance. And slowly, that acceptance became a habit.

I didn’t keep souvenirs.

I didn’t hold onto childhood treasures.

I held onto moments instead.

The warmth of a quiet afternoon.

The comfort of silence.

The strength it takes to adapt.

If I look back now, I realize something important:

not having an object to be attached to taught me resilience early on.

I learned not to define safety through things.

I learned that memories don’t always need physical proof.

I learned that loss doesn’t always arrive dramatically sometimes it just blends into growth.

So what became of that item I was attached to?

It never existed.

And maybe that’s why today, I don’t cling easily.

I appreciate deeply, but I don’t possess.

I value presence more than permanence.

There’s a quiet strength in that.

Not every childhood story is wrapped in nostalgia.

Some are wrapped in survival.

And those stories matter just as much.

—Rajeshwari 💕

January 10, 2026
Living a Very Long Life: Moments, Love, and Joy That Make Time Truly Full

What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

Living a Very Long Life

To Me, a Long Life Is Measured in Moments, Love, and Joy

When people talk about “living a very long life,” they usually think in years — 90, 100, 120.

But for me, a long life has nothing to do with numbers.

A life feels long not by counting years,

but by filling each moment with warmth, love, curiosity, and laughter.

Love in Every Little Thing

For me, love lives in small places:

• sunlight dancing on a cup of morning tea or coffee,

• a friend calling just to say, “I thought of you today,”

• hugging your child or your pet so tightly that time pauses,

• listening to an old song and smiling without knowing why,

• small acts of kindness that need no reason.

Love doesn’t need grand gestures. It quietly lives in everyday moments and when we notice them,life begins to feel gentle, full, and beautifully long.

Friendship That Feels Like Home

True friends are where you can rest.

They laugh at your silly jokes,understand your silence,celebrate your smallest wins, and hold space for your tired days.

Even a short conversation,

a shared memory, a doodle, or a favorite song can warm the heart in ways that last much longer than time itself.

Learning, Curiosity, and Little Surprises

A long life, for me, is a life where learning never stops:

• trying a new recipe just for fun,

• learning a few words in a new language,

• picking up a paintbrush to create little illustrations,

• revisiting old sketches and smiling at your journey,

• listening to old songs that carry memories of simpler days,

• noticing a flower bloom, a bird sing, or rain tapping softly on windows.

Curiosity stretches the heart and mind. Every small discovery adds meaning, depth, and joy.

Learning doesn’t have to be big.

Sometimes it’s just a song, a sketch, a thought and suddenly, life feels wider.

Playfulness: Becoming a Child Again

Play keeps life light:

• sitting on the floor and playing with children,

• making up stories for no reason,

• dancing in the kitchen to an old tune,

• laughing with your pet over the smallest things.

These moments don’t add years to life, but they make life feel endlessly alive.

Creativity, Little Adventures, and Everyday Magic

A long life must include creativity:

• painting, writing, doodling, crafting,

• trying silly ideas without fear of judgment,

• walking aimlessly, watching sunsets, chasing clouds,

• singing an old song out loud, even if no one is listening.

These are not “small” things. These are the moments that make life memorable.

Pets, Nature, and Quiet Joys

Love your pets like your own children. Watch the sky change colors. Feel the breeze after rain.

Sip tea slowly.

Notice how your pet sleeps, plays, and waits for you.

These quiet moments don’t shout, but they fill the heart deeply.

A Gentle Truth

Yes, life has moments of heaviness.

There are days when time feels slow and difficult.

But these moments exist only to remind us to hold on tighter to joy, love, laughter, and warmth when they come because they are precious.

What Living a Very Long Life Means to Me

To me, a very long life is not about survival or counting years.

It is about living with presence, softness, and joy. It is about:

• loving freely,

• laughing often,

• creating without fear,

• noticing every small miracle life offers.

If a life is filled with love, friendship, play, creativity, and warmth, even short moments feel infinite.

And that is when I remember this beautiful truth:

“Babu Moshai, zindagi badi honi chahiye… lambi nahi.” — Anand (1971)

Because in the end,

it’s not about how long we live

it’s about how deeply, how lovingly, and how fully we live.

— Yours,

Rajeshwari💕

(Nihshabd)

January 8, 2026