NihshabdBlog

Category: Inner Child

  • When “Being Big” Was the Only Plan

    When “Being Big” Was the Only Plan

    When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

    When I was five,

    I didn’t want to be something…

    I wanted to be everything

    (with zero effort, obviously).

    .

    Doctor

    because I owned a plastic stethoscope

    and confidence levels higher than actual doctors.

    .

    Teacher

    just to say,

    “Silence!”

    to people who weren’t even talking.

    .

    Pilot

    because I thought waving hands

    could control air traffic.

    (Still think that sometimes in traffic jams.)

    .

    And sometimes…

    I just wanted to be my mother.

    .

    Wearing her saree,

    standing in front of the mirror,

    fixing pleats that never stayed,

    pretending I had somewhere important to go.

    .

    No job title.

    No big dream.

    .

    Just… her.

    .

    Then came the real ambition

    to be “older.”

    Not successful.

    Not happy.

    Just… older.

    .

    Because older people

    had no homework,

    no bedtime,

    and unlimited authority

    to say “because I said so.”

    .

    Scam of the century, honestly.

    .

    I also wanted to be rich

    so I could buy

    all the chocolates in the world…

    and still cry over the wrong toy.

    .

    Priorities were clear.

    Logic was not required.

    .

    Funny thing is

    nobody asked,

    “What will you actually become?”

    .

    Because at five,

    dreams didn’t need backup plans,

    or Excel sheets,

    or self-doubt.

    .

    They just needed

    a random Tuesday afternoon

    and a little imagination.

    .

    Now people ask me that question

    with deadlines in their eyes.

    .

    “What do you want to be?”

    .

    And I almost say

    five again.

    .

    Because back then,

    I wasn’t confused…

    .

    I was just

    limitless without pressure.

    .

    Now I’m focused…

    .

    …on pretending I know

    what I’m doing.

    .

    —Rajeshwari 🧿💕

    © Nihshabd by Rajeshwari. All Rights Reserved

  • Just Me, a Book, and the Sky

    Just Me, a Book, and the Sky

    What books do you want to read?

    As a child, I believed books were alive.

    Some slept quietly on shelves,

    some waited restlessly to be opened,

    and a few followed me

    even after I shut them tight.

    I read under tables, behind curtains,

    in the lazy corners of afternoons.

    I thought the sun slowed down for me,

    and the moon stayed awake

    just to see how the story ends.

    I grew up, but that belief didn’t.

    It only learned new words.

    I want books that don’t behave.

    That start in the middle,

    end too soon,

    and make me shout,

    “One more page!”

    Books where characters climb out of stories,

    sit beside me,

    steal my snacks,

    and refuse to leave.

    I want pages that smell like rain holidays,

    sound like bicycle bells,

    and feel like scraped knees

    that somehow never hurt.

    Give me suns that shine for no reason,

    moons that listen without interrupting,

    and stars that fall asleep

    before finishing their lines.

    I want stories that wander everywhere,

    ponder silly things,

    laugh loudly,

    cry suddenly,

    and forget why they started

    just like we did.

    Books that turn grown-ups into children again,

    make time lose count,

    and remind the heart

    that magic was never lost

    it was just waiting to be read. ✨

    And maybe that’s why I still look for such books

    not to escape life,

    but to meet that little version of me

    who believed stories could pause the sun,

    wake the moon,

    and make ordinary days

    feel wonderfully endless. 🌙✨

    A dreamy illustration of a grown woman and her child self sitting on grass at sunset, holding hands beneath a sky filled with stars, floating book pages, the sun and the moon, symbolizing childhood imagination, inner child connection, and the quiet magic of stories.
    Meeting my childhood between pages, under the same sky. ✨